The Scat Cast

The Ford Intervention

The Scat Cast Season 1 Episode 93

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0:00 | 1:28:15

Alright, Ford. On this week's episode of The Scat Cast, we've gotta get to the root of why you're scamming us. You and your favorite Glup Shitto won't want to miss it!

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SPEAKER_10

Okay. Afonso, who do you think this is? Oh that's a good one. Loki, you might be able to guess it. Dude, this guy is like probably the most hated Star Wars character besides Ray. Yeah. People hate that guy. There's a whole subreddit I follow just dedicated to hating this guy. But he's designed to be hateable. Yeah, he sucks.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, he's designed to be like really, really hated. What are you looking up? Don't worry about it. Like, where do you even know how you look up this guy? I don't even think his defining feature is visible in the picture. Oh.

SPEAKER_05

Is he like a weird penis or something? He could. I don't know.

SPEAKER_07

Toro Calican.

SPEAKER_05

No.

SPEAKER_07

What the f did you just say Toro? Who the fuck is that? How the fuck no, dude? Toro Kalican?

SPEAKER_12

He's a Papino? A Filipino?

SPEAKER_07

God, I hate those accounts. I fucking hate them. I'm John. I'm Lafonzo. And I'm Darren. Welcome to the SCADCAS FUCK Ford F-50s. We don't know either. Uh so F-150s that bad. They just have super fucking high beam lights that just fucking happen. Oh, I do hate that.

SPEAKER_10

You're the most popular car in America. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_07

But uh, if there's one thing about me, I get into a lot of car issues. Not at not at my fault, but uh No, some of them are your fault. Two times it has been my fault. Out of the numerous occasions my car has decided to fuck me over or I've gotten fucked.

SPEAKER_12

It was very funny when you got a rental car and then you hit Luke's car and then drove off. That was about a reference though. Yeah. Did we ever talk about that on the podcast?

SPEAKER_07

Multiple times, actually. Multiple times. I just wanted to be that. It's already on the record. You did a hit and run. Already. Um, then I apologized for immediately after, like within like 30 seconds. So you didn't because I called you. You're like, what? I did that? I did apologize. I definitely did apologize. I definitely did that.

SPEAKER_12

So you didn't even know you did it. Then you're like, Yeah, that's why I ran off.

SPEAKER_07

I was definitely in self-denial. I was not gonna hold you. I I get it. I get it. I was definitely freaking the fuck out. Like, look, I have I, you know, fight anyways, that's not why we're talking about it. Anyways, Ford, I guess. Fuck Ford, goddamn. Just derailed my whole shit, man. Yeah. But uh so I drive a Ford car, 2022 Escape. Fairly new vehicle, by the way. And uh it keeps uh, you know, tires keep popping. Shit keeps happening. And so That's why you don't drive Ford. Apparently. Yeah. Uh but uh my parents got it for a deal, so you know, there's that. But what was the deal? Uh you get two, you get two or three Ford cars and like your insurance. Like whatever they charge you for your monthly premium, they're lower. So you had to buy three Fords? Two or three. For terrible. Insurance? Not insurance, whatever you like, the down payment. The it was some fucking deal they got. They had some fucking deal with Ford. I forget what it is. Maybe it was like low. I don't fucking know, dude.

SPEAKER_10

I always save just getting Hondas and Toyotas. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

It would be very difficult for you to convince me to get one Ford, but convince me to get three is crazy.

SPEAKER_07

It was maybe it's two or three. I don't know. It's two minimum, too minimum. But uh convincing me to get two is crazy. Three would be worse.

SPEAKER_10

Three Fords. Two Fords. It was worse than that. Three Fords.

SPEAKER_07

But basically, uh I put some miles on my car. I've had it for like a couple years now. I'm around like 50k miles. And uh I had to take my car in to get service because like the check engine light's been on for like a couple of months. And I was like, you know what? Let me just make sure this bitch won't explode, which is fair, you know, driving with that light for like a couple, like 90 days or whatever, 60, 90 days. You know, it's like let me just do my due diligence just in case they're like, hey, yeah, it's gonna explode. But uh so I take it in, I call ahead of time, and they're like, uh just to let you know, it's gonna cost around 200 plus dollars just to diagnose the problem. Well, to be fair, this is after you brought it to other places. I didn't buy it, I literally asked other places, hey, how much would you charge? Yeah, yeah. And then I cut 200 is honestly fair given the other stuff. Well, yeah, again, so basically they're like, Yeah, we'll charge$200 flat out. I I asked around just to get like an estimate, and they're like, that's a Ford car. And you think it's this? Because I took it to O'Reilly. O'Reilly will do a free uh check engine scan just to like give you uh a diagnosis, just let you know what it could be the issue. It's not super accurate, but it is free. So I appreciate that. And so uh I took it to a couple of places, I talked to them, I was like, hey, what would you charge? And they all just said, well, to it's like basically to figure out why your check engine light is on. It's like looking for a needle in the haystack, essentially. It could be fucking anything. Yeah. From the smallest issue to the biggest issue, they would have to check all the issues, and that will cost labor and time. So like they're all of them are just like, yeah, just go to Ford and just pay the 200, and then you know, we'll talk from there. So I take it in today, call uh I I fucking do a half day at work, use my my precious PCO, and I take it in and sit in the waiting room for like an hour, hour and a half while they're like doing all the bullshit, and they give me this this this this fucking list. And uh just just to give you a little little rundown. So they they flagged my car for all issues, every issue it had. And one of the issues, the lady was like, uh, uh, three of your tires are are dangerous to drive on. Keep in mind, I I can I could break on a fucking dime in this vehicle. She said, three of your tires are dangerous and need to be replaced. And they quoted me for$700. Yeah,$700 with three tires is well, so four. She dropped it down to three, so it went from$700 to$500, which is still fucking insane. That it's basically almost$200 a tire. I don't know how much a tire usually goes for.$100.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, yeah, around there.

SPEAKER_07

I bought a tire for$100 because the one tire that I replaced was the good tire because I had good traction on it. Yeah. And one tire, to yeah, just just for context, I replaced my own tire by myself during the fucking like makeup snows, the fucking phony snowstorm the South had in like January for a total of like$150. One tire by myself. All I had to do was buy the fucking tire.

SPEAKER_12

Seriously, that's a fair price then.

SPEAKER_07

How do you go from okay?

SPEAKER_12

So what's uh$150 doing it by yourself? It was$150 not paying anything for labor versus three tires, which at that same cost would be$450 or yeah,$450. Yeah. So I mean, is that$100 labor? Is that really that bad?

SPEAKER_07

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I forgot. Uh yeah, it was$710 for the whole four, and then they dropped it down to$532 or$532.50. But the main it's yeah, the labor was only uh the labor was$140. Yeah, it's not bad. That's normal. They just charge the whole extra tire for labor. Yeah, that's normal. Not for me, I'm not paying you that. I mean, that's fine. Yeah, I just I don't uh look, take John's Weber Grain of Salt, but like if you can pay because it was like the max it was like$150. I'm ballparking. It could have been like$125 because I don't recall how much it costs to mount and dismount my tire. Because it cost$100 flat to buy the tire. The mounting and dismounting was probably like$25 or less. What? Like mounting and dismounting a tire means that your tire has two parts that silver actual wheel part and then the rubber condom that goes on the outside. It you know, it's really easy to get a machine to do that versus doing it by hand, doing it by hands like a fucking bitch. But basically, all they did was take the condom off and put a new one on. That was like$25.

SPEAKER_12

And they gave me a free extra sensor for. When you say condom, are you talking about the fucking tire itself? Yeah, the rubber part. The treads? The treads, yeah. Okay. You call that a condom?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, why do you why are you describing it as a condom? Like it's for protection. Because the the the metal part, if you drive on that, it gets fucked up and damaged, and you don't want it.

SPEAKER_12

That's also not the part that's supposed to like be running on the road, anyways. It's not for protection, it's for the fact that your car isn't gonna fuck up. That's just how they work. Yeah, what? Anyways, anyways, yeah, I'm gonna call the tire the condom of the car. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Anyways, you're saying they replaced just the black part of the tire for 30?

SPEAKER_07

For less than 30. I'm just ballparking 150 because I can't fucking remember. But it could have been like 25 or less.

SPEAKER_12

And not just the black part? No, just the black part. That 700 was for just the black part. Just the black part. Okay, that's crazy, yeah. Just the black part. Yeah, yeah, okay. That makes more sense.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, not the silver and black, just the black. Yeah, okay. That makes more sense. That's why I was like, that's fucking insane. Yeah, no, okay, yeah. That makes more sense. 120. I get that then. Yeah, 125 to do it myself, or$700, or$500 to for them to replace three. Yeah. Fuck that. Uh they were going to charge me uh$841 to replace my front brakes.

SPEAKER_12

It was uh Yeah, that sounds crazy. I also don't know much about Ford, though, to be fair. So I don't know how to do that.

SPEAKER_07

I changed Ford brakes. I know it's fucking, it takes 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

I replaced my rear brakes with my cousin. It cost$60 to buy the brake pad. This is why everyone says not to bring it to a dealership to get fixed. The deal, I took the dealership to diagnose the vehicle, and then they gave me a fucking price sheet. But that's why you had never take to a dealership because they will fucking ass fuck you. I'm saying now that you have a diagnosis, you can just bring it somewhere else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it cost$100 to replace my brakes. 60 for the brake pads, 40 for the labor because I paid my cousin.$100. If my cousin, if I if I was a dick and I was like, can you do it for free? He probably would have said yeah, because we like we're family, but I wanted to pay, but like it could have been$60 to replace my brakes.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, that's if you knew how to do it yourself and stuff. Well, no, I do. Yeah. And it's not hard. You can change your brakes then.

SPEAKER_07

Huh? You just change your brakes then. I was only gonna do that on my own. They just they quoted me for all the things that were issues that they would wanted to charge me to fix. Yeah. So that's all just keep in mind 700 to 500, but still 700. Uh 850 for brakes that cost damn near$60 to replace yourself. All you need is a fucking uh, cause it's uh it's a it's a it's a it's a newer vehicle. Instead of the old way of using a screwdriver to hold down because basically when your brakes are getting worn down, there's like a fucking spring that's constantly pushing into the brake uh pad and onto the fucking wheel. And so you need a an actual tool to reset the spring. That's all you need. That's it. That's how brakes work. They're gonna charge me$800 to do that. Yeah, and that's not even what was wrong with my fucking car. And we're already at like fucking$1,500. Yeah, and something like that. And so to fix the issue, they were trying to charge me$383 for a fuel induction and injection system service. And that also wasn't the issue. That was just like more of like, you know, when you uh get your teeth done at the dentist, they recommend using fluoride to make sure it stays good. That's the fluoride. That's not even the cleaning your teeth part, that's the fluoride. They're charging me$400 for the fucking fluoride of the vehicle. And the actual issue that cost$200 from the fine, which is fine. I'm still salty, but at least, you know, they found it. Was that my purge valve was stuck open. For those who don't know, the purge valve sits on, it's free of flu fuel injectors, it's so that your engine can actually combust and so it can actually, you know, burn the fuel and you know, start your engine and run your car. Uh they're gonna charge me$741 to replace that. Quick Google search, quick Google search will show you that on average most dealerships on the high end charge$350 to$400, not dealerships, most service places to replace this on a 22-ford escape will charge you on average Isn't it excavated? Escape, not excavated,$400 to$350. Dealerships are always gonna charge low end$150 if they fuck with you and you find some nigga who's working out Home Depot,$150.

SPEAKER_12

But the A lot of the time this is just kind of how pricing shit works, I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, it's bullshit. Usually, like, usually you can't just like Google stuff and be like, oh, how much does this cost? And it's accurate. Usually it doesn't work.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, I did it for the tires and the brake pads, and it was pretty accurate.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, but also like 90% of the time it's gonna depend on like where in the country you are, who's that that's a fair point to say.

SPEAKER_07

But like I looked at the prices myself, looked at the parts, and then I also asked Google and they're like, it can range from here to there. And I was like, Yeah, that that matches. Yeah, but uh I looked it up. I'll do I'll do I'll do it, I'll do it live, fuck it, I'll do it live. I'm gonna type in just for the for the people listening through like uh Spotify and shit, how to replace paper back out, a purge valve on a 2022. Why are you googling this, bro? You're not gonna do it yourself. I am gonna do it myself with my ultimate cousin. If it's like if it's something too advanced, if if I need parts, I'm taking it to my cousin. If I can do it myself, I'm doing it myself on a 2022 Ford Escape. Let's go and search that real quick. The first video is 12 minutes. The second video is seven minutes. I'm not paying you$800 to do this shit, bro. If it's some parts I don't have, I'm literally just gonna go to my cousin who works at a fucking tire repair shop where they do multiple things besides fix your tires. You can't just look at the minutes and be like, oh, that's how a bunch like actual work goes into it. That's literally how my cousin broke and he's like, dude, look at the video. If the video's under 20, it's probably something really easy. And he's going to college for that shit. I'm taking his word at face value. I was gonna say, I've seen videos on how to build a PC that are like 20 minutes long. I don't know. Well, actually, yeah, when I mean KJ help me, I mean, like the hardest part was just getting the fucking parts, yeah. And then like putting it together, as long as you make sure when you hook up the motherboard, you do it correctly the first time. I mean, it's tedious, but like if you know what you're doing, it's not that's what I'm saying. It's really probably the same thing there. It's not like you have to like do rocket science. It's not, and that's that's that's the I'm not paying$800 for niggas to not do rocket science on my vehicle. You'd only pay$800 for rocket science? I'm not gonna pay$800 for not rocket science. This is not rocket science. And when I told my cousin issues, oh, don't pay more than that for the car. Well, that's because the entire car is a rocket. It's not a rocket. There's a lot of moving parts in the vehicle, which makes sense why it costs so much. But just for one asked they do, but yeah. Either way, but like Ford. Yeah, but for one part, rocket science, close to rocket science money, you can you can lick all of my sack.

SPEAKER_12

I don't think it's rocket science money, bro. I don't think you know how much rocket science money is. Look up how much a rocket scientist makes a year. Actually, that would be I actually do not know this. It's a lot more than$800.

SPEAKER_10

If they get paid as much as a teacher, I will laugh my ass off. That would be crazy. There's no 109 to over 170. Say that again? 109 to over 170k a year. So around doctor? No, that's less than a doctor. Less than a doctor.

SPEAKER_07

As much as 170?

SPEAKER_10

I thought, is that not like middle, median for doctor? Oh, for 170, yeah, but like the low end for a second. 109.

SPEAKER_07

That's like what, a construction work? Not a construction worker, a fucking uh engineer, like low-end engineer. Low-end engineer, uh low end, uh, a medium and medium grade uh software developer around that range. Yeah. It's a lot of money.$109,000,$170,000. I mean, that's six.$170,000 is a lot, yeah. Yeah. Six figures. But that's high end. That means you're probably like a seasoned vet, and you probably worked on the fucking Apollo 11 mission.

SPEAKER_10

Depends on who you work for, too.

SPEAKER_12

Like Lockheed Martin. Yeah. I wonder how much they make of like uh SpaceX and stuff like that versus NASA. I mean, that's fine. SpaceX salary. I wonder if like uh NASA pays less because it's like a government job.

SPEAKER_07

Probably, plus they like run out of funding pretty fast. They they're affected by government shutdowns.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Uh market scientists at SpaceX make an average of 170 to 215,000.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, that's what I saw.

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_10

How much?

SPEAKER_07

At NASA, it's 80k to over 130. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I kind of figured that would be the case. Government just wants to fuck you in the butt. They probably get decent benefits, though. They're government.

SPEAKER_10

You could have found the aliens, bro. I mean it would have been so cool to have on your resume.

SPEAKER_12

It would, but also like, I get it. Like there's no there's no If it's a hundred thousand less to get the full job. It was an internship.

SPEAKER_10

It wasn't the full job, but it was like he couldn't do it because he had to do some class over the summer. And I'm like, move your class to the city. That's a really annoying. Yeah, I want to do that. I'm really stupid. He just didn't want to do it.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, it's not like I mean, I guess SpaceX does have interns, but I mean they get really good health and dental because it's the government, but I mean That's what I'm saying. They just get like the standard government benefits and stuff. I think they they okay, perks and discounts, access to on-site fitness center. You think those nerds are going inside a fucking gym and you make me laugh. They're fucking astronauts and shit. Of course they are. No, the fucking scientists, not the astronauts. The nerds aren't going to the fucking gym.

SPEAKER_10

Uh computer scientists go to the gym. Hmm? Don't computer scientists go to the gym. Like um headquarters.

SPEAKER_12

Hey, Pip Squeak, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_10

You don't go to the gym. Hey, four eyes.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, what? You don't even go to the gym. I don't. I don't. Uh a local attraction.

SPEAKER_10

A fucking loser nerd. What the fuck is the NATO? But a ton of companies like have they have that stuff as like a benefit for the job, yeah. Yeah, like in their headquarters. Yeah, I used to work at tech jobs and stuff. Yeah, I know. Like like rock climbing is like a huge thing in tech. That's very funny.

SPEAKER_12

You see Mark Zuckerberg like going fucking rock climbing upside down.

SPEAKER_10

He is a lizard person, so that would make sense. No, dude, I went I went rock climbing over like December with a bunch of my computer scientist friends, and they're different.

SPEAKER_12

Different? Like climbing like apes up the fucking wall. Like cracked, yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. Just getting like fucking low diffed by a fucking guy.

SPEAKER_10

Have y'all seen so have y'all seen um so basically like for healthcare software, every single like I want to say like 90% of hospitals use something called Epic for their online charting. Yeah. And like Epic Epic headquarters is like a fucking playground for adults. That sounds nice. It's like it's like Disney World. It's like fucking universal or some shit, but like that's your job. Yeah. They have a building based off like the Wizard of Oz, like fucking what? Like a tree house theme building, like some Queen of Hearts shit. Like it it's it's a this sounds ridiculous.

SPEAKER_06

Oh Wisconsin. Why are there air tags on Asian? Why are they air? Why is there a giant giant tag? Why? Why is there a slide?

SPEAKER_07

I would totally be on the slide.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, some of the buildings have slides, and it's faster to go down those than like the stairs. They're building a fifth building. I don't I don't know what the theme is. It's probably already opened, actually.

SPEAKER_07

She literally made a company that said go touch grass, but also work on computers.

SPEAKER_12

Generally, that's what a lot of like those tech companies try to do.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, they even like mentioned that in like the Kid Cody thing when he was working on the comic, they try to make it like more of like a social space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Like, oh, we have to have mandated government like fucking playtime and shit. Oh yeah, everybody gets their own office. Yeah, too. No shit, they have a fucking castle. It's not like a cubicle. Botany? Why they have a fake subway? Subway.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, there's one building where like everything's upside down. Yeah, building 25.

unknown

Why not bring the five on top of that?

SPEAKER_07

That would be very non-epic. Yeah, this is a nine-year-old medicine. That would be very non-epic.

SPEAKER_10

Have y'all seen the um name for the Iran Up operation? What is it?

SPEAKER_07

This is the gayest shit I've ever. What was it, like Operation Epic Thunder?

SPEAKER_10

Epic Fury. Epic Fury, yeah. It's a fucking gamer tag, bro.

SPEAKER_12

Epic Fury. Operation Epic Fury. There literally is like a fork of house. I feel like I killed that kid in Fortnite.

SPEAKER_07

I mean, low-key midnight hammer sounded kind of hard. It's like, okay, you beat that nigga at night. Epic Fury.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And inside that region's gonna be ranked building, and the very field starts to shift. Suddenly it's other workhouse in one of them. But still, there are just some details on the city.

SPEAKER_12

This is ridiculous. No one needs all this, bro. It's awesome. I'd love to work at a place like that. I would not. I wouldn't like working. I would not, bro. I'm not gonna lie. I'd rather have like a gray office job. I don't want to feel like I'm in a fucking like kids' art museum, dude. I don't that feels weird. You're like, I'm a grown-ass man. Dude, I put me in a gray cubicle. I don't want a gray cubicle. I just don't want to be walking through. I don't want to be walking through one of the fucking seven dwarves little door. What the fuck is that? That's so cool. I don't wanna be fucking looking upside down to see someone else walking up the stairs. Hey Jim, hey Jim. Have a great day. That's fucking weird, bro. I'm flimsy. I'm working. I'm not at Hogwarts, bro. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_10

But that's the whole point. They want you to feel like you are. When I did my rotations at Shoah, compared to like every other hospital, it was so colorful and there were like characters on the wall. And it was like, oh my God, I was like, I'd love to work here. You know?

SPEAKER_12

Having characters on the wall was one thing, but having statues of fucking like the Humpty Dumpty sitting next to me in my fucking cubicle is even worse, bro. I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_10

In your cubicle, you can do whatever you want with your cubicle. But like in the hallway when you gotta go use the restroom, you walk by Humpty Dumpty, get a little bit more.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's gonna fucking like, oh yeah, bro, nice meat. Yeah, I don't want that. But in the bathroom. No, bro. I would not be surprised if in the bathroom they have fucking like whimsical-shaped urinals too. Like fucking have me like pissing on skibbity toilet or something. I don't want to do that, bro.

unknown

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07

How to fix the level of my mic. I think you just like increased it like crazy. I don't think so. Oh still not, I didn't see any movement, so I was trying to figure out. So I tried to do that.

SPEAKER_10

But yeah, basically, every building also has this exact same floor plan, but it's decorated like so differently. It feels like they all feel like different buildings, but they're also easy to navigate because they're the same layout. Yeah, no, that makes sense. Oh yeah. When I was at um I'm not gonna disclose which location, but it was uh when I was also at Choa, um their library had a bunch of like cartoon characters on the window. One of them was Peter Griffin. I was like, nice who the fuck put Peter Griffin on the Choa library?

SPEAKER_12

Awesome.

SPEAKER_10

What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_12

Oh, speaking, did you see the the um the Ted thing? The the Bill Clinton clip from Ted? No. So Ted's season two just came out. They had a clip of uh it's a show?

SPEAKER_07

I thought it was a movie.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, they made a new show. Yeah, season two just came out of the the show, and they had uh the the dad is like very conservative and stuff, like he's a very big Reagan guy and everything because it takes place in the 90s. Um and is it a donut shop? Yeah, the dad was working in the donut shop and Bill Clinton walks in.

SPEAKER_01

Fuck you, make you so fucking telling you fucking shit back now. I'll slap you back so already on to recognize your own fucking game. Fucking presence here.

SPEAKER_12

Damn. That was actually that was Seth McFarlane. They just deep faked Bill Clinton over his face. That looks pretty good. I was about to say who looks like an actor, yeah. I saw a comment and they were like, dude, if they just asked Bill Clinton, I'm sure he would have done it. Bro, what the fuck are you talking about? For a 30-second clip? For a 30-second clip where he looks like an asshole and Bill Clinton looks like a fucking ghoul? Like, yeah, thanks. I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton has bigger fish to fry right now. Like Loki. No, that's all the blue hell. Do you see? He's like vouching for his pedophile friend. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

He was thinking about the good old days. It's so crazy to hear them say, yeah, we never interacted with Epstein. And it's like then there's just photos of him hanging out with like fucking wine socials. And then it's like, on one hand, it's like, okay, sure, you could say you never met him, but we all know Epstein's MO was to talk to you. It's like, you never met him, or did you just never want to acknowledge that you met him?

SPEAKER_10

I mean, never met him. There's photos of them together. That's so stupid. But anyway, um, yeah, but sometimes you just forget, you know. Sure. Yeah, uh, have you seen uh like Peabody Sherman?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, Peabody Sherman?

SPEAKER_10

Like the the animated movie? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you remember like um at the end, all the presidents were giving him a presidential pardon? Yeah, Bill Clinton goes like I've done worse. That's aged so well.

SPEAKER_12

God. Yeah. Okay, so you were talking about the Ford shit a second ago. That reminded me of something that I encountered lately that had egregious fucking pricing. So I've been playing fucking Poppy's playtime, right? That shit is fucking ridiculous. Pricing? What do you mean? So you know how that game is priced? I don't know how it works. I just episode it's yeah, it's so each chapter is like 20 bucks. Okay, it's on chapter five right now. That shit's like$80. No, it's like$100 almost. How long is each chapter using? A couple hours, like two or three hours. Each chapter is only a couple hours? Yeah. So you're paying over a hundred dollars. Is the first one's free, the second one's like ten dollars, third one's fifteen, everything else after that is twenty. So I think it's like seventy that it adds up to right now. Pre-chapter five. But okay, so the reason why I was thinking about this shit, have y'all ever played a game that just like makes you mad? Like right off the bat. Well, how did it make asked before on the podcast?

SPEAKER_10

What do you say? This has been asked before in the podcast. What do you mean what makes you mad?

SPEAKER_12

I can't think of a game that made me mad. Like, what define what makes you mad? What did we say last year? He said Rocket League. Oh, I mean that too. Yeah. The new answer is Poppy's Playtime. I'm not gonna lie. Poppy's Playtime like really fucking pissed me off. I was playing that shit, and every little thing about the game design and that like really fucking made me angry. Were you playing yesterday?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, I heard you shouting from across the house, bro. Because I was mad.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, that's what you were playing? Yes! I was fucking mad, bro. I was fucking none of that shit made any fucking sense at all. Because keep in mind, this is like I started playing this right after I played the new Resident Evil. So I'm like looking at fucking like peak pinnacle game design, and I go straight to Poppy's playtime. That shit's like just straight doo-doo butt cheeks.

SPEAKER_10

Poppy's playtime is like so popular.

SPEAKER_12

It sucks. Fuck them. How many episodes did you play? Uh I have all of them now. I just I've Oh this sucks.

SPEAKER_10

I need to play it again.

SPEAKER_12

No, it sucks.

SPEAKER_10

Maybe the episode's gonna be better.

SPEAKER_12

No, like I know that they only get worse from where I am. That's like I I've I've heard that they only get worse, and I want to keep playing it because I want to see like the the print the train crash. You know what I mean? I gotta see it. Like the one I was playing, they fucking the game bugged so many times. There was this audio glitch where it sounded like a fucking helicopter was landing on me, but there's like nothing around me. I was just fucking standing there minding my own business. And there is no, there's like this loud ass like fucking just going off in my ears, and I swear to god, it went on for like five fucking minutes. It just kept fucking going. It was so loud, it was so like egregiously loud. There was like multiple parts where I would have to do like some fucking stupid little puzzle or something, and I solved the puzzle, but I didn't do it in a way that they wanted me to do it, so it would like hard lock me and make me have to reset everything and shit. It was like there'd be chase scenes where there's like a mechanic that's introduced. It's like they do like the whole weeping angel thing where it's like, oh, you can't look at it. It's like, yeah, when you look away, they move towards you or whatever. And then at the very end, they just don't do that anymore. So it just killed me because I was standing there minding my business, and I didn't notice it was fucking walking towards me anymore, and I just died. And they have like all this random bullshit. It's like this whole thing where it's like, oh, I'm walking around the entire map trying to find the one thing that they mentioned in Patrick. What chapter are you on right now? Four? I just did three.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, three.

SPEAKER_12

That's supposed to be the best one.

SPEAKER_07

I did three, and that's supposed to be the best one. Apparently, Poppy's like the good guy, because I saw some guy play five for a bit, and apparently Poppy's not evil. Or how does that work? Poppy's the little blue one. No, the Poppy's the little doll.

SPEAKER_12

What's the blue thing? Talking about Huggy Wuggy, bro. That's Huggy Wuggy. I have his Fortnite skin. That's Huggy Wuggy, bro.

SPEAKER_07

That is.

SPEAKER_12

And his wife Kissy Missy.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, that's a singer. Poppy played on it.

SPEAKER_12

There's a huggy wuggy, and that's a singer.

SPEAKER_07

Bro, that shit sucks. Resident Evil Requiem was peak. That shit was badass. So which one? So that's Huggy Wuggy, this blue fucking Okay, where's Poppy?

SPEAKER_12

Her name's Poppy, bro. I don't know what to tell you. She's in every chapter. Is she called prototype? No. Oh, this shit sucks. Even Markiplier made like a video. Yeah, I saw that. Is this Poppy? No.

SPEAKER_07

What the fuck is Poppy? How how how do you have a game with a titular character called Poppy? What did you look up? I just talked Poppy's playtime, Poppy.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, I should.

SPEAKER_07

I imagine that would make it pop up. It's just Huggy Waggy.

SPEAKER_12

I just see Huggy Waggy and this blue fucker with a like a bull hat. I mean the game has cool ideas and stuff, but like everything just kind of sucks. It is not a good thing. Are any of these Poppy? No. Fuck. Not a single one of those is Poppy. Those are all the monsters from chapter three, though. Is this Poppy? Yes. That is Poppy. The little girl? Yeah. Looks like Baby from FNAF.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, okay. That does look like Baby from FNAF.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. And she's the good guy. I guess. She saves you. Ambiguously good guy. I don't know if she's like evil or not. Who do you play as? A nameless employee? Oh my god, another security guy. Hello! Hello! You're someone who used to work there and then now they don't. Because the whole plot is like this toy company just turns people into toys. Also, Huggy Wuggy was like a regular dude and I made him a monster. Well, most of them were like orphans that they turned into toys. They did mention children. It basically is. They have like an orphan crushing device that just turns them into toys. Is this Timu FNAF? Yeah, it is. It's it's literally just FNAF, but worse. Like it's really bad. They do this, they have so many random, cool ideas that are just like stealing from other random shit. All the little videos and shit they have in there are all like analog horror-based. Like you can tell they're based on like channel 57 and like uh the Mandela catalog and stuff. But and like those are cool, and then I immediately turn around and getting chased by fucking like Huggy Wuggy or something. And I'm like, okay. That's too many out of it.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah, I'm like, it's it's whatever. So this game is like potential man.

SPEAKER_12

It just has just bad. It's buggy. Like I remember um buggy wuggy. I had like a game-breaking bug at one point, and I was like doing like a chase or some shit. And Kiara was like, Oh, that bug was there three years ago. I thought they patched it out. And they're like, no, apparently not. There was like a fucking I got chased by dog nap, and this motherfucker, I you're supposed to know. So the second the fucking chase starts, there's this random panel on the floor that falls out with nothing, no, like no reasoning or whatever. So I didn't know that was gonna happen. So I was stepped over the hole because there's like a foot wide gap over the hole, and then it broke, and I didn't know about it, and I just died. It was like this is as stupid as fucking. I don't know. Everything about it just pissed me off. That shit was not fun. I cannot wait to play chapter four. What the fuck is this thing? Dognap. Yeah. There were they he was one of the smiling critters. I thought you were gonna say smiling friends. He was one of the smiling critters. He's a dog named Dognap, and he was like, he's like fuck when you find him, he's like fucking chained up to a wall with his like lower half cut out and just yeah, just like that. And then like a bunch of like fake smiling critters run up and fill him up and wear him like a skin suit and chase you. Like, there's cool ideas and shit in there because that was just a guy. That one wasn't an orphan, that was just like a dude that got turned into that. You just sit there, he's like, please kill me.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, so it's catnap too?

SPEAKER_12

Oh no, it doesn't catnap is the main evil one in that chapter. Okay, out of the two. Catnap was like praying to the prototype. The prototype was like the first one and all that shit. The lore's stupid and it doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_07

What can you give me like a scenario? Okay, so FNAF Lloor is like, okay, William Afton went crazy, accidentally killed his daughter, ended up killing a whole bunch of more children. FNAF lore, I relatively understand. So, yeah, can you like give me a rundown of the first three games, like just lore-wise, like why things have happened?

SPEAKER_12

I don't know. Oh in Poppy's playtime, you just like start off in the factory, you get chased by Huggy Wuggy, and then the chapter ends. Like, that's that's the first chapter. Like, nothing happens in the first chapter. Okay. The second one, you're trying to start up a train and run away from mommy long legs. Do they explain why you're trying to do they just trying to get further into the factory? Because the entire thing takes place in a factory. One setting, okay. Yeah, so it's like the entire thing takes place over, I guess, over like multiple days. So you're stuck there. Like it has to with how long the game lasts or some shit. So it's like I the third one, you're stuck at like the place where they kept all the orphans, and you're trying to like go to like, oh, you have to go to the school and start the power. And now you have to go to the school.

SPEAKER_08

School inside the factory.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, because like orphans that live there, yeah. Oh, oh, yeah, just like you keep going further and further down because the factory keeps going down. Oh, it's like hell, I guess. It just reminded me of the Pizzaplex from FNAF, like it was the same type of thing. You know, like the Pizzaplex is like on top of like uh is that the the open world, not overworld, but the open world from the mall from the security breach. Because I can tell they stole a lot of shit from Poppy's playtime for like Secret of the Mimic and stuff for sure. Oh, they okay, yeah. Like you can tell they're kind of like jipping each other's shit. But like in FNAF, the security breach pizzaplex is like there, it's on top, it's on top of the the the fucking William Afton's house from FNAF 4, which in the basement has the the sister location location, and then that's on top of the fucking uh pizzeria simulator building because they're all built on top of each other for some reason. So you go down under a cave, you go into it, and go down and down, and like further. It's like every fucking restaurant was stacked on top of each other in FNAF now. It's stupid. None of that makes any sense. These games have terrible world building and shit, it's awful.

SPEAKER_07

They're just money generators, and uh Poppy was like really huge when you just got chased around by that blue thing. So it's crazy to see how like far it's come in, like the three years it's been out.

SPEAKER_12

I like Huggy Wuggy, I think he's cool. That's what put them on the map.

SPEAKER_07

That's what put them on the map.

SPEAKER_12

I'll fuck with him I have a sportnight skin. I fuck with him. I think he's neat. Resident Evil though, that shit was goaded. That shit was badass. I fucking loved Resident Evil. That's just not even like I think it's like my top five, maybe Resident Evil. That's the whole series is just like 10 of them, so yeah, that's up there. Uh, I think when I did my own ranking, there's like 12 I had on there. Darren, you would like Resident Evil for sure. Like I need I need to try them. I don't know which one you should play first.

SPEAKER_07

I don't know. I was talking to my friend Luna about this. The reason why I don't play like those type of horror games, I realized because I get lost way too easily. And I would just I would just be stuck and I would just get pissed off and I would just get bored. I think you should like try to learn the skill of navigation.

SPEAKER_10

My friend Dan put me on the lore's sick.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, no, Resident Evil's like it's totally up your alley. You would fucking love Resident Evil, bro. I think I think me too. Do you think you could play like a game with like really old controls and stuff? Then you should totally play the first one. Tank controls. Play a ton of old games. Yeah, you should totally play the fucking first one then. You would love that shit. It has tank controls amongst it. Is it on Steam? Yeah, yeah. They're all on Steam. Oh sick. Yeah. Um yeah, they have like the the or the original three aren't on there, but they have the remakes of all of them on the remakes. Which one has the dude that dodged the bazooka? Um five and now nine as well.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, he's back?

SPEAKER_12

No. What's that?

SPEAKER_07

Uh it's he's cloned. Oh. His name is Zeno. Zeno, that's what it was. Yeah. I just know he he like ore walks, you shoot a bazooka, he just fucking just sidesteps that shit.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, like they have a new character who's they don't ever confirm that it's a clone of him, but it's literally just him, and he's named Xeno. He's named Zeno in 9? Yeah. No, the the because the character's name is Wesker. But in Resident Evil 9, they introduce a brand new character who looks just like him, sounds just like him, always wears sunglasses like he does, has the exact same orange eyes as he does, does the same fucking teleport dodge and shit that he does. But now he's just named Xeno instead. He has white hair, that's the only difference. He's a potential man. But that shit was sick. They had like a a lot of people were saying it was kind of like nostalgia bait, the game. I I can kind of see that though. That's why it's not like my favorite favorite, but it was still good. And the combat in that game is like sick as fuck, too. I don't know. I feel like you would definitely like the more combat-focused ones, if anything, for sure. Probably. What's the combat-focused one? Like Resident Evil 4. Like four and five.

SPEAKER_07

What's what's the lore of four? I might have seen it before. It's the one with the village. Oh, Resident Evil 4 is Village with the the the titty mommy?

SPEAKER_12

No, that's that's eight. Um four is like the Hillbilly and Brad family? No, it's seven. Four is the one in Spain.

SPEAKER_08

I don't know if I know that one.

SPEAKER_12

You'd probably have seen it. It's like the first ever game to have like an over-the-shoulder third-person camera. Like without that game, you wouldn't have like Uncharted, you wouldn't have Dead Space, you wouldn't have uh like anything, honestly.

SPEAKER_07

No, I'm thinking of Nemesis, not Xeno. You're thinking of Nemesis? Nemesis dodges Bazooka. You should have Bazooka at Nemesis and he just fucking sidesteps your shit and pounds you. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_12

Nemesis is different, yeah. I will say that if you do end up playing Resident Evil, try not to play the remake of three if you can. Play the original if you can like find a way to emulate it. There's a remake of like three games. The remake's really bad. Like it's not like bad, bad. It just cuts out so much shit that it's just like not that enjoyable. When I ranked them all, I think I had it at like third or fourth from the bottom, I guess. Like not even playing the original. I can like you can feel in the game that they cut out a lot of shit. It's just it's not as fun. That game's like three hours long. I want to speedrun it at some point too. Resident Evil seems like a really fun game to speedrun. I've seen like people beat the games in like two hours flat. Like Nemesis or Wesker?

SPEAKER_08

Nemesis.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. Nemesis is sick. He's a fun villain. That's why the remake sucks, because they don't handle Nemesis well. He just kind of like shows up randomly in like boss encounters. He doesn't actually like do anything. In the original, like he like stalks you and randomly shows up and stuff, but they don't do that. He just shows up and turns into a dog. Nemesis? Yeah. He mutates. That's that's his whole thing, is that like he starts out as just like a normal-looking guy. Well, not normal looking, he's a humanoid guy and then mutates into like more and more grotesque things. So like fit the task he's trying to do? Uh it's just like the more quote unquote complete he gets, I guess, the more he grows. But the newest one like ties in stuff from all the games and and everything in it.

SPEAKER_07

It doesn't matter. So that is where the like the the the ma uh the the nostalgia bait comes from.

SPEAKER_12

Well, it's like they'll bring back random characters from previous stuff. They bring you back to the setting from the second game, too. Like that's that's a big part of it. Um but all that all that shit, oh, I think it was handled pretty well, obviously. I don't know. Memberberry games and stuff don't really like bother me that much. I think uh Memberberry, like the oh okay. Yeah, I was trying to think. Like, I I don't really know like uh if there's any like games or movies like that that like really really bother me. Maybe The Force Awakens, I guess. That's probably like the only one I could think of on the top of my head. That was just ass.

SPEAKER_07

That was just ass.

SPEAKER_12

The Force Awakens was an ass. Who was I? Is that the first one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Oh, I'm thinking of the titty milk one, Rise of Skywalker. Oh, you're talking about The Last Jedi. Last Jedi.

SPEAKER_12

The Rise of Skywalker sucks.

SPEAKER_10

It's like one of the worst movies ever made.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. Last Jedi was ass. The Rise of Skywalker, it's it wouldn't be one of the worst movies ever made if it was any other movie, but because it's a Star Wars movie, it sucks.

SPEAKER_07

Like, like it's legitimately just is a Palpatine. And they're just like, yeah, he just kind of dropped his sperm into it.

SPEAKER_10

And somehow he returned.

SPEAKER_07

Somehow Palpatine returns craziest shit to me. Like, somehow has to be the biggest fucking fuck you to Deus Ex Machina ever. Just somehow. We're not gonna explain it, just somehow. I still bullshit explanation.

SPEAKER_10

It's not an explanation, so they can avoid an explanation. And then like I just writhe whenever I see like the concept art of like the original with Snoke being the actual villain?

SPEAKER_07

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_10

It was Kylo. Kylo, uh it was uh Kylo was just gonna go like full on in, just like fuck everything. That's what I wanted to happen. Yeah, it would have made sense. He was gonna meet like the Sith equivalent to Yoda and like learn ancient Sith techniques from him and like drain life force, which is like the whole thing Anakin wanted to do was to like save his wife and like you know, with healing and shit. So then Kylo earns that by like seeking out some like fucking ancient normal primordial Sith meanwhile. In the final cut, Ray just has it.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, she just does it. Yeah, she thought she killed Chewbacca at one point. That shit was hilarious. That was crazy. Oh my god. They tried to do that. That shit was hilarious. It's not the fact that they just did it, it's the fact that the scene immediately after just shows Chewbacca. What the fuck was the point? There's no like payoff or relief. Have you ever seen that? No.

SPEAKER_10

And then you compare it to how like legends Chewbacca died, and it's like, damn, what the what a fucking year.

SPEAKER_12

Chewaka gets arrested by the first order, and they start like flying off like a free. Does the ship get blown up?

SPEAKER_10

No, she like she reaches out to try to like force pull it, but then like lightning shoots out because she's a palpatine and she blows up the ship and she's like, Oh, I just killed him! No, yeah.

SPEAKER_12

And then everyone else is like, no! And that's all they say, and then they just move on immediately. They don't give a fuck. Yeah. And then it cuts to the next scene, and it's like them walking shoe balk it on the prisoner hole. It wasn't just that, there's also like a line there where they're like, Huh, thank God we chose to use this ship instead.

SPEAKER_07

That is the corniest line I've They wasted Finn's character so much. They did. Finn had so much potential. They wasted everything in that movie. Unlimited power. She just sees a ghost Anakin. Did she? Is that a ghost Anakin? Would be Luke. Oh no, it's Kylo Ren. Oh, it's Kylo.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, yeah, because they're the fucking um they're talking to each other. They're a dyad. Whatever that means.

SPEAKER_07

So he's trying to release the shit, but she's trying to pull it down.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. So she strains herself, and I guess. Her shooting out force lightning is the equivalent of like accidentally letting out a shit when you fart.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know how it could be.

SPEAKER_10

I feel like it's two different trains of thought, like lightning and pull-I don't know, but what's the lightning?

SPEAKER_12

Like, why is she thinking about fucking lightning? Yeah, I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Because she's mad at Kylo. She literally growls at Kylo, then just shoots lightning out of her fingers. I saw that clip on Twitter when the movie first came out, and I thought it was like an edit. I didn't think it was real. I need to re-watch that movie at some point. I've never re-watched it. That's the only Star Wars movie I've never rewatched.

SPEAKER_10

Me and Hannah still haven't seen the um sequels, but we've seen like everything else Star Wars. Yeah, Kiara hasn't seen the sequels either. I keep telling Hannah like we gotta watch. He's like, I don't want to. I've heard so many bad things. They're not good. Yeah. Are you just looking at the whole scene though? It's only a minute and a half.

SPEAKER_12

She's watching the whole movie. Yeah. This was the whole movie. Oh, this shit's pretty good. This is a Babu Frick enjoyer, right here, if I've ever seen one.

SPEAKER_10

Babu Frick's awesome.

SPEAKER_12

Bro, why are you talking about this?

SPEAKER_10

Why are you shitting on Babu Frick, bro? Babu Frick. He's gonna be in the New Mandalorian movie.

SPEAKER_12

I saw like a list of every Star Wars character that's not a Glub Shiddo.

SPEAKER_10

Yo, Babu, that's my boy. No, like Glup Shiddo is like a Star Wars character categorization where it's like they're just random fucking aliens that are like don't have much screen time, but people love them.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Oh Babu Frig. That's like uh Bob Quaternaros. Yeah. Yeah coming back in the new racing game.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, exactly. I saw people hype as shit over that. Okay.

SPEAKER_10

We were watching the Mandalorian trailer, and then me and Hannah were like, okay, this is this is okay, this is gonna be cool. And then and then Embo pops on screen and she's like, oh my god, it's the dude from the Club Wars! And I was like, dude, she's actually getting fucking hyped up over a Golep Shido. That's crazy. God.

SPEAKER_07

I was gonna say if you're a real Star Wars fan. Yeah. I was gonna say, I I I some in my heart just thinks the Mandalorian is gonna flop. I mean, probably.

SPEAKER_12

It doesn't look that good. Uh the newest trailer was better, but the other ones were not that good. It looks okay.

SPEAKER_07

Because like you can't really beat like season one. Season one had such like a chokehole. And then season two was like, aye, because it kind of just doesn't look like it needs to be a movie. It does it. To be honest. It feels like it's gonna do the same thing, stranger things.

SPEAKER_10

It does look like just like a seasonal trailer.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. I I have an idea. I know you had like an activity you wanted to do, but I had an idea for another activity. Could you try to see if Alfonso can guess whether a GLUP shitdo's real or not? Hold on. Hold on, hold on. I I gotta see. I I I actually have a I really I need to see if Alfonso can guess what I'm gonna do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Star Wars. That's a thing? Yes. There's a word, there's a Wordle for everything. I was saying Pokadle just now. Um Pocatle? Yeah. You just guess like one of the original 151 Pokemon. Um, okay, so let's pick. I'm connecting. What does that mean? Anyway. Oh. Okay, I'm gonna guessing a character. You think it's gonna be a GLUP shido or not a GLUP Shido?

SPEAKER_12

Um it's gotta be. Okay, it's just Babu Frick. Percentage-wise, it has to be.

SPEAKER_10

Invalid guess. I have the spell. It doesn't like give me the spelling? Okay. That is how you spell it. He's not in this.

SPEAKER_12

I was gonna say, like, I feel like any character that you probably don't know the name of is a glove shitdo, honestly. Captain Antilles. Captain Antilles. Don't fuck with Captain Antilles? No. What's wrong with Captain Wedge Antilles? Okay, I'm smelling I'm I'm picking such niche characters, it's not in this thing. Um you need to use Captain Wedge Antilles, Darren. You have to use his full name.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, there we go. There we go. I now no no now the website works. Okay, let's do let's do Babu Frick. Okay. It is not oh it is from that movie introduced in 2019. So the character was oh so the Zori Bliss gender's female. Zor Bliss. How do you spell that?

SPEAKER_12

Z-O-R-I space bliss. Zor bliss? Zori. Z-O-R-I bliss.

SPEAKER_10

This website fucking sucks. Okay. She's a fortnight skin. Show me the silly characters. Okay, apparently there's no characters in the start within Z or an X. That's too niche. Crazy. What?

SPEAKER_12

How's that too niche? It has a fucking Fortnite skin. Are you kidding me? I don't know. You can look up Zori Bliss if you want to. It's a black girl. What?

SPEAKER_07

Lando Calrizian's daughter. I'm expecting some fuck ass ugly creature. You're like, you can look her up. It's a black girl.

SPEAKER_12

It's a Glup Shido because no one knows her name. Glup Shiddo is like a categorization because they're like, oh, it's a catch-all term. I'm thinking it's a ugly alien. That's why. No, yeah, because it started out as a meme.

SPEAKER_10

Wait, wait, wait. Is it BB9? Oh, it could be. That'd be good. It's not BB9. There's only BB8 in here. What the fuck? You said it's a female that was introduced? Well, it's just not a male. So it could be like a droid which doesn't have a gender.

SPEAKER_12

But it was introduced in 2019.

SPEAKER_10

Introduced in 2019, not a male, not in a zealon, which is Babu Frick species. Affiliation. Spice runners resistance. It's orange, so it's one of those. Either spice runners. Zori Bliss is a spice runner. Okay. Yeah. Homeworld is Kijimi. Home World is not Kajimi. And they have a weapon.

SPEAKER_12

Don't like every Star Wars character have a weapon?

SPEAKER_10

Well, yeah, but like this weapon is like um not applicable and it's not a non-application. I guess they have a signature weapon or some shit. I don't know. What was the bitch with the helmet from that movie? Zori Bliss. Oh. Oh. Well. That's her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Doesn't know Zori Bliss. Okay. My bad. Alright. What's the name of. What's the name of the person played by Carrie Fisher's daughter? She wasn't introduced in 2019. She was in the Force Awakens. Babu Frick.

SPEAKER_10

It's not Babu Frick is not a woman, bro. We already guessed Babu Frick. That's who I'm reading off.

SPEAKER_12

Babu Frick. Did you not hear that it's not an Ankidorian dude? Actually, he's in a Zealon. I just made up a term. I don't know what the fuck I said. Ankidorian. That's all bullshit, bro. This is all just bullshit. You don't fuck with like Rhoda the Hutt?

unknown

Who?

SPEAKER_12

Job of the Hutt's son. He's in the new Mandalorian movie.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. You haven't seen the original Clone Wars movie before the TV show?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

He was like the main point of that?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, he was the MacGuffin in that movie. Was he skinny? No, he's jacked. He's a gladiator.

SPEAKER_10

Who the fuck else was in that movie?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's Rhoda the Human.

SPEAKER_10

This Bowser Jr. ass nigga. Yeah, it's Roda. Who is the girl with the frizzy hair?

SPEAKER_07

I don't know, man. She shows up right next to Riza or Rizzo, whatever the fuck her name is. Rizzo?

SPEAKER_10

Who the fuck? It's the one of the Muppets. He's talking about Wait, Mandalorian season one also came out in 2019.

SPEAKER_07

It's Jana, the girl with the afro. Oh, wait. Is it uh Kara Dune?

SPEAKER_12

I can see it being Kara Dune.

SPEAKER_10

Dune, you say? There's no way Kara Dune's not in here. I'm like, fucking god, this thing sucks. Ahsoka!

SPEAKER_12

Obviously, she was introduced in 2019. No. Yeah. The frog lady from the Mandalorian? I can't guess Dinjar. Wait, what? Obviously, his name in there is The Mandalorian. Oh, wait. Could it be the uh the blacksmith? I think it's her name. I think it's literally just the blacksmith.

SPEAKER_10

Why is there not an entry for like these big characters?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, because most of these are like main characters in the thing they're okay.

SPEAKER_10

Maybe it's not from the Mandalorian.

SPEAKER_12

Well, he said it's a resistance or a spice runner, too, so it wouldn't be one of those characters anyways. Uh true.

SPEAKER_10

So I feel like it was John Favro's. Not John Favro. What's his name? Fucking he was one of the directors on the show. He had a character. John Carlo Esposito? No. Uh it could be him though, actually. Tyco ITD? Oh no, he's not part of the resistance. I'm talking about um Well, he's also a droid.

SPEAKER_12

Oh yeah, true.

SPEAKER_10

Uh oh, it can't be a guy either.

unknown

Fuck.

SPEAKER_10

Darren, I don't think you're gonna get it. It's not giving me much. Like, I can't guess characters. Wait, evil Ray. No, it can't be. It could be. No, it's it's not an option.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, I was like, it's technically a different character.

SPEAKER_10

What the fuck are the options? Okay.

SPEAKER_12

Bro, just give up. What does it say?

SPEAKER_10

I'm picking a different website.

SPEAKER_12

No, what does it say? I have to know what the answer is first. Can I give up? You have to like just type random shit in. Type in like fucking like Lando or something. What's what do you think is the most obscure Star Wars character that you know?

SPEAKER_07

Me?

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. That I know I could name them? Yeah, they're a female. No, I'm just wondering.

SPEAKER_10

And they're a spice way resistance.

SPEAKER_12

I'm not even asking all that. I'm just curious who's like the most obscure Star Wars character you know is.

SPEAKER_07

I know? I can I don't know their name, but I can like physically describe them. They're in the Lego Star Wars movie.

SPEAKER_12

The Lego Star Wars movie? In the Lego Star Wars game, not movie in the game. Okay.

SPEAKER_09

Uh it was on the Sand Planet. Where you like do the big like. You don't even know his name. I don't. I just remember how he looked.

SPEAKER_12

I know what it's gonna be. I'm gonna lock in my guess.

unknown

What?

SPEAKER_08

It was on the sand planet. You guys were running through the caves with uh fucking what's his name? Obi-Wan. It wasn't Obi-Wan, was it?

SPEAKER_07

And I gotta look up, I gotta look at this. Was it the racing level? Yeah, it was the sand racing one. Sabulba? Oh. Is it subulba? Look up, I gotta I gotta I gotta put a facial name.

SPEAKER_12

My guess was Imperial Spy.

SPEAKER_10

How do you spell that, Sabulba? S-A-B-U-L-A. Wait, I think it's S-Ba S-A-B-S. That was Sebulba. I don't know. Yeah, Seb Bulba, you're right. S-C-B-U-B-U-L-B-A. Damn, I'm a Star Wars nerd, bruh.

SPEAKER_12

Why the fuck did I know that?

SPEAKER_10

You know how to spell his name.

SPEAKER_12

Damn. I know how to spell Bob Quaternaros, too. I saw a tweet from Discussing Film, which is like an actual like news Twitter and shit. They're like, Bob fucking Quaternaros is back when he was in that trailer. Who's Lutheran Rail? He's from the Andor. Oh. He's the founder of the rebellion.

SPEAKER_10

Really cool character. Oh, yeah. I love that actor. Yeah, Stalin Scargaard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Darren has elite. Hold on. Wait. Darren actually Darren has elite ball knowledge. It was Sabulba. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. He just looks so fucking ugly. He just looked weird. He's worse in the movie. Yeah. He's a fucking asshole, too. He's a piece of shit. Is he going to be back in the racing game? He died, so probably not. We don't know if he died. We didn't see a boba. No one ever dies in Star Wars. Come on.

SPEAKER_12

You think they're going to care enough to bring back Sabulba?

SPEAKER_10

Yes. They brought back Bob Quaternaros, they're going to bring back Sabulba.

SPEAKER_11

Who the fuck named the guy Bob Quaternaros? His mom? What do you mean? He looks like a Bob Quaternaro.

SPEAKER_10

He's a racist, dude.

SPEAKER_07

Like honestly, if you look at him, he looks like a Bob Quaternar. My second one was this guy. I don't know who this is. IG88. IG-88 was the second one.

SPEAKER_12

Oh. Yeah. That's cool. Who's Val? Val? Okay, bro. Now you're making shit up.

unknown

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_10

I thought I got it at first. It's just from the solo movie. Um wait, the character from the solo movie? No, no, no, no. This character.

SPEAKER_12

Okay.

SPEAKER_10

Is it not from Solo? No. It's from 20. That was 2018. It's from 2019.

SPEAKER_07

Was Bob Watanaros? Bob Quaddenaro's.

SPEAKER_10

Bix Colleen? Bix? Oh, for a second I thought I got it. Nope.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, no, Bix. No, what is this? Bix's Andor's girlfriend. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

This dude is a meme. This is a meme.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's Bob Quadinaros.

SPEAKER_07

This is a fucking- I've seen his face before. Yeah. This is a fucking meme.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, it's Bob Quadinaros. You don't fuck with Bob Quadinaros? Why don't you fuck with Bob Quadinaros?

SPEAKER_07

Bro. This nigga looks worse than a sleep paralysis demon, bro.

SPEAKER_12

Have you ever seen Boss Nass? Is that another one of these? No. He's from the same movie.

SPEAKER_10

Dude, this website fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_12

He's actually Jar Jar Bingsa's species.

SPEAKER_10

After you fail all the guesses, you can't. He doesn't give you the answer. What? Okay, why does he have aura though? So dumb. Okay, let's see what we do.

SPEAKER_07

You know what he's doing there?

SPEAKER_12

What? That's how they cheer. You're lying. I promise you, if you look up the scene, that's what he's doing.

SPEAKER_10

Five-letter Star Wars were word. Word? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

What the fuck does it a droid? I don't know.

SPEAKER_10

Doing this either.

SPEAKER_07

Whatever they were on when they made this fucking movie.

SPEAKER_12

That's what happens when you let it be.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, I found a different one, but it's it's prequel and original. Is it a character? I don't know. I think so. Is it bro? I'm not guessing a Star Wars walking. Yesterday's character was Shmi Skywalker.

SPEAKER_12

Dog. Shmi Skywalker. Okay, so this is original and prequels. Um put Bob Quaternaros, bro. We got to.

SPEAKER_10

He's not a fucking character. Uh God. They have Ponda Baba, though. They have Honda? Ponda Baba. Who the fuck is Ponda? He's the dude who was like, um, my friend doesn't like you. I don't like you either. He's the dude who like it was like the fucking alien. That makes sense. Yeah. We want to cut the arm off.

SPEAKER_12

They fucking brought them back in uh Rogue One. So I mean, I'm not surprised.

SPEAKER_07

I remember that guy from the fucking family guy. I mean, he's like, okay, I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_10

Well, they yeah. Yeah. Um cut off his hands. So this character is a male, uses blasters, and is a part of the Hut clan. Why does he have this? I was gonna say Boba Fett. Okay, it's not Boba Fett. Why does he are human then?

SPEAKER_12

It's just part of his face, you know? They're human. Yeah. And they use blasters? And they're not a bounty hunter.

SPEAKER_10

Are they part of the fucking Hutt clan then? What? Dude, is it the fucking um the Rancor owner? He doesn't use a blaster though. Oh, true. Well, blaster is grayed out, so they would use a blaster and a different weapon. I guess it could be. What's his name?

SPEAKER_12

Did you say like Bib Fortuna or something?

SPEAKER_09

Yo, why did he be a hidden that though? He can look he is.

SPEAKER_12

You fuck with Bib Fortuna? Who the fuck is Bib Fortuna? This nigga sound like a tuna. No, bro. Bib. He's he's job of the hut's handler. Cornelius.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, that's the that's the other guy. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_07

This thing is in Dune, bruh.

unknown

Nah.

SPEAKER_07

That's the space godworm. That's a that's a rebelled Twilek.

SPEAKER_12

You made that up. Nope. You made that up. Some Tweelecs are actually that's probably like the most fine like species in Star Wars, I'm not gonna lie. Fine and whatnot. Most of them are most of them are very attractive.

SPEAKER_10

Whenever there's a prostitute, they're a Twilek. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

They're literally like genetically engineered to be like sex slaves. Say that one moment. What's the name? Uh species? Twiilek. Twilek. T W I apostrophe L E K. Oh, these bitches? Yeah. Oh, they're blue. Not all of them are blue. Some of them are green. Okay, then yeah. They're red. Ahsoka's a Twielik. No, she's not. She has the thingies. Yeah, but she's not a Twielik. Yeah. Different species have the thingies. You can't just assume.

SPEAKER_07

Can't just assume. Okay. My fault for being bigoted. But no, yeah, these are the space pro No, no! Glup Shido is an actual, like, you could just put Glup shit.

SPEAKER_10

Wait, is that a character?

SPEAKER_12

Wait. It's not a it's not an actual character, Darren. Why is there an option? It's not a character, I promise.

SPEAKER_10

There's literally an option to put Glup Shiddo on here.

SPEAKER_07

So females have two horns and dudes have one. Is that how it works? Yes, I believe so. Okay. Yeah, dudes have one and the bitches got two.

SPEAKER_12

I'm trying to think of like other GLUP shittos Alfonso would fuck with. Glub shiddos. I can't think of any off the top of my head. You fuck with porkins? The pork's? The porks? No. Porkins. I don't I don't know that. He's a fat dude who flew with uh Luke, so they just named him Porkins because he's fat. Wait, is it Cornelius? Oh no, it's not. Okay. Who the fuck is named Cornelius in Star Wars? Cornelius Abizanian. He's Pontian. Abizamian? Who the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_06

Porkins.

SPEAKER_12

They don't have Bob Quaternaros, but they got Cornelius Abadomnian? What the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_10

He was the right hand guy at Bonabondebaba. He was the human. Who the fuck is Pontababa? We just went over it. It was the dude who I don't like you. Kenobi like chopped the arm off in episode five. Four. Okay.

SPEAKER_12

He's a doctor? Oh yeah, he is. He's like a yeah, he's a he's a doctor. What the fuck? I don't know why. But he's a doctor. It's not him. Would you fuck with Bosk? It's B-O-S-S-K. Who's Ponudo? Who the f bro?

SPEAKER_10

I'm telling you, it's just a senator.

SPEAKER_12

Darren, you gotta do a test where it's asking us if a Glup Shido's real or not. We need to do it. I kind of like Bosque. I'll fuck with Bosk, actually. He doesn't wear shoes. I don't wear shoes either. Bosque is a real one. Yeah, he's got his fucking like toes hanging over the edge, like curled up over the edge or shit.

SPEAKER_10

Is it Han Solo?

SPEAKER_12

It is Han Solo.

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_12

Damn. Okay. I want to do a Glup Shiddo test, Aaron. Please, we have to. Glup shitodal. I just want to see if we can guess if they're real or not. I don't know if it's a real quiz. You might have to use like Chat GBT or some shit. Bob Quadanaros.

SPEAKER_10

Here's the thing. Play quiz. Okay. This is Babu Frick. I want you to ask Alfonso the questions, though. Okay. Oh my god, I don't even know the fucking name of this thing.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, I know what that is. You know his name, though. Yeah. If you gave me enough time, I'd be able to remember it.

SPEAKER_07

So I used to know his name. So it has heads and an arm. It looks like a face hugger. I can't tell where the it's like a space monkey. Yeah, it's called a space monkey. Space monkey. He has a name. I have to guess the name. I'll be real. I don't even know his name. Ben Fard.

SPEAKER_12

Ben Fard? I've heard some names tonight. I know his name. It's gonna annoy me when I hear it. What's his name?

SPEAKER_10

I don't know. It didn't tell me.

SPEAKER_12

You can't skip it? I can give up.

SPEAKER_10

Okay.

SPEAKER_12

It's it's something that I feel like you would know. Salacious B Crumb. Yeah. Ew. You did not know that. I did! I promise you I knew it. I promise you I know salacious B Crumb. I promise. Ew, that's what? Salacious? Salacious crumb.

SPEAKER_07

That nigga looks gross. He looks salacious as a crumb.

unknown

Ew.

SPEAKER_10

This is not the type of test I was expecting. Okay. Afonso, who do you think this is? Oh that's a good one. That's a good one.

SPEAKER_12

That's a good one.

SPEAKER_10

Loki, you might be able to guess it. Dude, this guy is like probably the most hated Star Wars character besides Ray. Yeah. People hate that guy. There's a whole subreddit I follow, just dedicated to hating this guy. But he's designed to be hatable. Yeah, he sucks.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, he's designed to be like really, really hated. What are you looking up? Don't worry about it. Just looking up Glup Shittos? Like ugly Star Wars. Like, we don't even know how you look up this guy. I don't even think his defining feature is visible in the picture. Oh.

SPEAKER_05

Is he like a weird penis or something? He could. I don't know.

SPEAKER_07

Toro Calican. No. What the fuck did you just say, Toro? Who the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_04

I don't fucking know, dude.

SPEAKER_07

Toro Calican? He's a Papino.

SPEAKER_10

Filipino?

SPEAKER_12

God, I hate those guys. I fucking hate Filipinos.

SPEAKER_10

It's a wait, what? It's a lawnmower. God damn it, Reddit let me down, dude. Wait, Star Wars. Okay, it is a real person. What is it? Who the fuck is this? Oh, he's the one of e Bounty Honor from Mandalorian season one, the one in the desert.

SPEAKER_12

Let me see. You're not showing us. Toro Calla. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. Do give up on guessing this one's name. I have more guesses. Uh we'll say you get two guesses on every single one. If you can actually guess the name, you get a point.

SPEAKER_08

Okay.

SPEAKER_12

And you you can ask for you can you get ask any specific question other than their name. Okay.

SPEAKER_07

Uh therm scissor punch. What? These are all real names, by the way. Does that guy look like a therm scissor punch to you? You said he's a weird fucking body part, so it could be the fuck is this?

SPEAKER_12

Let me see.

SPEAKER_10

Some solo. Sort of like the gambling. That's such a funny name. You felt like a lobster, dude. What the fuck is that? Iraq lobster. That's that's awesome. That's an awesome character design, honestly. His name is Thermo Scissor Punch. That's awesome. I live. These Gluff shadows are sick.

SPEAKER_07

Okay, last one, last one. Elon Sleeza Bagano. Oh yeah. It is him. No.

SPEAKER_12

His name. Uh-oh. I forget who that is. I just know that's a character.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, he's the he's the death sticks guy. Oh, yeah. You want any death sticks?

SPEAKER_12

He tries to sell Obi Wan drugs. He's literally just like a fucking drug addict. His name is Pong Crow. I would have never yet. You should look him up. Come. Commander Pongkrell. His defining character, he has four arms, by the way.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, well, what was the name of the guy you literally just said? Me? Yeah, before you guess Pongkrel.

SPEAKER_09

Sleaze a bagano.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, Sleaza Bagano.

SPEAKER_12

Are they gonna make you say the first name?

SPEAKER_09

No, I said I got it wrong. Elon Sleazebagino is his full name.

SPEAKER_12

Elon? Like Elon Musk? El-L-A-N. Oh. Ellen. Ellen. Ellen Sleasabagano. Ellen. DeGenerous? Honestly, Ellen DeGenerous sounds like a Star Wars name. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

I mean, so it's Elon or Ellen?

SPEAKER_12

Ellen. Ellen. E-L-A-N. Sleaze a bagano.

SPEAKER_10

You saw the last name, dude.

SPEAKER_09

Sleaze S-L-E-A-Z-E. B-A-G-G-A-N-O.

SPEAKER_10

S-E-S-L-E-N-E.

SPEAKER_09

Like Sleaze. S-L-E-A-Z-E. B-A-G-G-A-N-O.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, I ran out of time. What the Dude, what? It wanted me to put their middle name. They have a middle name? Slea Sabagano? Ellen Cell Sabagano.

SPEAKER_09

I wouldn't know that.

SPEAKER_10

Well. Apparently I'm time too. I don't want a timer. Can I just turn that off? Okay. Practice mode. I have to sign in for practice mode. Cool. Oh, what the fuck was this guy's name? Yak Face. You remember his name? I would have to see it. Yarel Poof? It might be. I think it actually is. Actually, how do you call that?

SPEAKER_07

Y A R A E L Poof. P-O-O-F. It is. It is. Okay, this is pretty easy. This is pretty easy. What the fuck am I looking at?

SPEAKER_12

That's the dude from The Force Awakens. I actually don't know what that is. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03

Hey.

unknown

Hi.

SPEAKER_12

You okay?

SPEAKER_03

I'm sorry to do this, but I've been thinking about this for like a month. I forgive you guys for eating my fucking pretzels.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, no problem. I mean it's fine.

SPEAKER_03

This is my revenge. Interrupting the podcast.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, okay. I think that's cool. We we ate KJ's pretzels. Like that's why we're in the fridge for like three months. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I mean my grandpa gave me two, gave those to me. Like himself. He lives in Pennsylvania. He flew all the way down here to give those two.

SPEAKER_12

I ain't gonna lie, those are good too. Yeah, they're really fucking good.

SPEAKER_10

Shout out to Grandpa. Because he did get to eat some.

SPEAKER_03

I ate like four.

SPEAKER_10

Okay, I don't feel as bad.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, that's enough.

SPEAKER_03

You niggas ate like 24.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, we all did. Like colloquially. Collectively. Collectively.

SPEAKER_03

24 divided by three is what? Four. What? It's like what the fuck? No.

SPEAKER_09

You were included in that. It's eight.

SPEAKER_07

You were included in that. You're just as guilty, honestly.

SPEAKER_03

How am I just as guilty?

SPEAKER_07

They were his. We stole his. He's guilty of us stealing from him.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_12

I mean, yeah, honestly, like you left it. You left it around.

SPEAKER_03

It was probably claiming him for a nice occasion.

SPEAKER_07

It was promised to me 3,000 years ago. It was wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Whatever. I've it's fine.

SPEAKER_10

In our defense, they were mad tasty.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

In our defense, I don't regret it.

SPEAKER_12

Like, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03

We wouldn't be friends if you did.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

But that's cool. How do you feel, Alfonso? Are you happy? Welcome. Alfonso got employee of the month at work today. Yeah, I got employee at a month.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, he didn't talk about that on the podcast. I should talk forward for like 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_03

That's fair. Fuck forward.

SPEAKER_12

Exactly. If y'all take anything away from this episode, fuck forward. Fuck forward. Fuck forward. We're going over Glup Shittos in Star Wars right now.

SPEAKER_02

Glup shittoes?

SPEAKER_12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10

Glup shittos.

SPEAKER_03

What's a Glub Shidddo?

SPEAKER_10

There's like obscure fucking random alien characters nobody knows except for people who are chronically online. Do you fuck with Bob Quaternaros?

unknown

I've never.

SPEAKER_12

Yo, you gotta see Bob Quaddenaros. You gotta see Bob. You've seen Bob Quadinaros.

SPEAKER_03

I don't not believe you.

SPEAKER_12

You fuck with Salacious B. Chrome? Who the fuck was that again?

SPEAKER_10

You're gonna name it. He's the moon monkey. Oh, the monkey. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, no, Salacious B. Chrome is the moon monkey. This is Bob. That's Bob Quaternaros.

SPEAKER_03

Who are these from?

SPEAKER_12

Star Wars. Star Wars.

SPEAKER_03

That's he's from the Phantom Minnesota. No, I am your father. That's actually what he said.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, yeah, he said no, I am your father.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't watch Star Wars. I didn't watch the original trilogy until I was like 21.

SPEAKER_07

Yo, he's kind of moging right here. He's kind of mogging in that photo.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I I guess I don't disagree.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, honestly, like I feel like a lot of people at this point haven't watched Star Wars until like later on in their life.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. What's the new rat's name?

SPEAKER_12

Isn't that Hugina? Helga. Oh, Helga? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Hugo and Helga? That's adorable.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

Hugo's goaded, bro. I love Hugo.

unknown

I do too.

SPEAKER_10

In the future, I think he should put them in their in his uh guest bathroom. He should get another one that's like has a urinal and standing up against the wall, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

That's really not a bad idea.

SPEAKER_07

Yes! This is where it was! I've been looking for this meme. What? Is it a GLUP shitdo? It's the fucking Bob Quaternaro's meme.

SPEAKER_03

This thing has been calling me a monkey at work, but I have.

SPEAKER_07

What?

SPEAKER_12

You've been hanging out with your brother too much, bro. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Calling me a fucking bonobo. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_07

Because I've seen this before. That's where I know him from. What scene? What? This is a meme. He's a sleep paralysis demon meme. That's where I recognized his face from. That's what, like, that's what I was freaking out.

SPEAKER_03

From this meme, I mean. I've played that game. It's on PS2. What is it? That's uh that's from uh fuck, what's it called? Star Wars Pod Racers?

SPEAKER_12

Oh yeah. Is it still on Darren?

SPEAKER_03

It is.

SPEAKER_12

I figured. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. He's been calling me a fucking monkey and being mean to me at work.

SPEAKER_07

But by the way, this guy bullies me relentlessly at this job. Everybody bullies you. Huh? Everybody bullies you. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_12

I don't do shit. You're easy to bully.

SPEAKER_03

That's not fair.

SPEAKER_12

What do you mean it's not fair?

SPEAKER_07

Have you ever heard of like self-defense?

SPEAKER_03

You get bullied by Alexis.

SPEAKER_07

But Alexis gets bullied by our new hire, so it's all it all works out.

SPEAKER_03

Who's the new which one?

SPEAKER_07

We just learned her name again today. Yeah. Employee of the month, and you don't even know people's names. Well, everyone's been saying her name wrong for like the longest time.

SPEAKER_03

She just never corrected everyone yesterday.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, yeah. As someone named John, like I get it. People get my name wrong a lot too. How does that mean it happens? How? I'm like, oh. Like I spell it wrong or what? No, say it wrong. Dude, Joan? Yeah, like, oh yeah, Joan. Oh my no, no, it's John. KJ?

SPEAKER_09

This guy. My actual name. Kanote?

SPEAKER_03

There you go.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

You gotta be told though. Like if you read it and you try to guess, I would 100%.

SPEAKER_12

I would 100% guess that is your name. Kanote?

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I there's no why. How do they pronounce it? Kanota.

SPEAKER_07

There's no A.

SPEAKER_03

There is an A.

SPEAKER_07

What? It's K-E-N-O-T-A.

SPEAKER_03

You would read that and be like Kanota.

SPEAKER_07

I thought it was an E. No.

SPEAKER_12

No, that's just how he's pronounced. Okay. I I have it spelled in my phone as an E. Nigga. It is nigga.

SPEAKER_07

That's fair, okay. I'm fucking junior, so it's like phonetically.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. Phonetically. I have nothing to do with this. Your dad didn't have to like be named two niggas.

SPEAKER_07

So your grandma named two niggas warrior princes? Like this that that's just the trend?

SPEAKER_03

That's not how juniors work.

SPEAKER_07

You're naming two. I know, but like your mom, your grandma looked at a dude and said warrior princess. And then your dad looked at a dude and went, Warrior Princess. Was your name supposed to be Kinotto?

SPEAKER_03

No. I've got like Spanish? Yeah, like Warrior Prince. Fuck it. It's like there's a couple aunts in there.

SPEAKER_12

How they go from Kevin and Kyle to Kinote.

SPEAKER_03

He was the youngest. They got fucking bored. He was probably an accident.

SPEAKER_12

I mean, it happens. My dad was also an accident.

SPEAKER_03

I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_12

I was an accident. I was an accident.

SPEAKER_10

We were all accidents. That was planned.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't know I was an accident.

SPEAKER_10

Actually.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, like we wanted. What? Which like they were playing, they wanted Dylan first. How do they no in a miscarriage?

SPEAKER_03

Okay, that's what I thought you meant. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

I thought you were saying they were planning on having Dylan first. No. I was like, how the fuck are they doing it? Like, what does that mean? They just does this look like a Dylan. Name him Darren. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Your brother does look like a Dylan.

SPEAKER_10

Really? I mean, I guess, yeah. I don't know what else I'd like to do.

SPEAKER_03

He looks like his name is Dylan.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah. He's the personality of a Dylan, too. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. All I remember is be like the goon material.

SPEAKER_10

I had the material up on my own. His Christmas gift to me was like a neon green shirt that said Goonin.

SPEAKER_12

We really gotta get your brother on here at some point. I don't know how we've never gotten your brother on.

SPEAKER_10

We were supposed to at one point. He'd love to be on and just talk about Israel for two hours. Yo, we gotta hype. Let me gotta hype. Not be surprised.

SPEAKER_12

I'll be hype.

SPEAKER_03

I started playing deadlock, and like I've got like a group of people who like are teaching me. There's this one guy, I forget his fucking tag, but like when he starts winning, he's gonna be like, I'll hail the IDM.

SPEAKER_10

Oh yeah. Thanks, BB! Thanks, BB, glory to BB.

SPEAKER_03

What the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_10

Yeah. Israel's strongest soldier. And people will be having fun. Whenever people find success, it's always because of Israel.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I almost got myself banned from Discord today.

SPEAKER_10

By doing what?

SPEAKER_03

I was gonna say I was gonna say she's the Jews of soul girls. Oh it got me banned.

SPEAKER_10

Banned from like Discord or like from tournaments. Oh okay. Like a Discord.

SPEAKER_03

The Discord. I just competed for like a thousand bucks two weeks ago.

SPEAKER_10

Does Discord usually ban people? That was like they barely ban pedophiles.

SPEAKER_12

My Discord account got banned a while ago. How? What the fuck did you say? What did you do? I didn't do anything. I was in one of I was in one of someone's Discord servers. You know her. It's not my ex. Someone else. Okay. Um and they were posting gore in the server. Yeah. How did you get banned? Me just being in the server, they banned my account. Really?

SPEAKER_03

So they banned everyone in the server.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, they banned everyone in the server, completely shut down their account. I'd like emailed them, being like, hey, can I get my account back? They said, no.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_12

They literally responded to me to be like, no. You don't deserve your account back.

SPEAKER_10

It's so weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Although my guilty vibes.

SPEAKER_10

Did they respond to the character though? No. That'd be awesome.

SPEAKER_11

Oh, we're so sorry. Wholesome chunkus. We're gonna stop.

SPEAKER_10

Wumpus is not a fan of gore. You scared him.

SPEAKER_11

You scared Wumpus away. He's hiding in his little hole.

SPEAKER_07

Who the fuck is Wampus? He's a little mascot, a little pig. I mean, I just I'm not not gonna say I enjoy it.

SPEAKER_03

Only when it's my favorite character.

SPEAKER_07

I mean Oh, that's gore of my comfort character.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, literally. What does that mean?

SPEAKER_12

When do you see gore of characters? Like yeah, I was about to say.

SPEAKER_03

Have you been reading DCKO?

SPEAKER_12

Oh, like yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Joker needs to die.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah, I I I haven't read it. I haven't read it yet. I don't I don't know who's died yet.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sad about it.

SPEAKER_12

I didn't know DCKO was supposed to be like gory.

SPEAKER_03

It's not the Joker. Yeah. The Joker gets those privileges.

SPEAKER_12

That makes sense. Homelander's in there. They had like a Homelander versus Superman fight.

SPEAKER_10

I low I low-key like loves seeing gore at my job.

SPEAKER_09

I mean, I get it. I feel I get it because like it's intense, it's extremely gross, but it's like oh that's such a cool thing. It's like medically interesting. I can understand that. I understand that. I get that. I get that comment.

SPEAKER_12

I I get that. I feel this was kind of a weird thing. It is weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Damn.

SPEAKER_10

Or dying bodies. How many dying bodies have you seen?

unknown

Like 14.

SPEAKER_10

Is that his dad used to be a grandpa? Oh, grandpa. Sorry, grandpa. That's what I meant to say, but I didn't say it. Uh grandpa used to be a uh funeral home. He's he's still a funeral director.

SPEAKER_02

He owns a funeral home right now.

SPEAKER_10

That's cool.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I picked up a few cadavers.

SPEAKER_12

What? Oh, oh. You meant like physically picked up. I thought you meant like you picked it up and brought it to your house. No, do you probably don't put this in the freezer? I thought you were like, yeah, no, I picked up a couple of these dude.

SPEAKER_03

That was like the worst. That was like the worst rude awakening I've ever experienced.

SPEAKER_07

Like, I was with like Are they heavy than you would expect? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, it's a dead fucking body.

SPEAKER_07

But I was like, they could be lighter.

SPEAKER_03

I mean they're lighter than an alive body. I'm like 12, right? And we're driving in the hearse and we stop at McDonald's and we go in, and like the the lady behind the counter is like kind of cute. So I'm like flirting with her as I make my order. I like ask for her number and like she gives it to me, and then I'm like, hell yes, I did that.

SPEAKER_07

And then like you hop in the dead wagon. Yeah, fucking hop in the goddamn.

SPEAKER_03

So she just fucking never hit me back. I was thinking about it for a while until I was like 23, and I was like, oh shit.

SPEAKER_00

That's your future, bitch. It's your future, bitch. God. You keep front low seats.

SPEAKER_12

I just realized I don't think KJ's been on camera at all this entire time. Just a disembodied voice. Oh yeah. There you go.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Thumbnail. We had our podcast crashed.

SPEAKER_00

God. Not by the idea.

SPEAKER_02

Not by the idea this time. Trying a new style.

SPEAKER_12

Oh yeah. I was tired of him too.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna go. I have a question for Alfonso specifically.

SPEAKER_00

What?

SPEAKER_02

How were you yesterday?

SPEAKER_07

I heard, but I did not see.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_07

Did you have sex above his room?

unknown

Many times.

SPEAKER_07

Okay. Yeah. It wasn't as loud as dude. His old bed, all you would hear is just.

SPEAKER_03

I'm sorry. I'm trying my best.

SPEAKER_07

But imagine instead of slapping very hard and aggressive, just like the squeakiest, rustiest, creakiest bed you can. Imagine those hotel beds where they're fucking in like the shitty motels. And it's just eat or ee or ee or ee or eat.

SPEAKER_12

I can't get over you saying that.

SPEAKER_02

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_12

I can't get over you saying that you heard KJ Comb and you thought it was the girl. I so did.

SPEAKER_07

I genuinely was in my heart of heart.

SPEAKER_03

Legitimately, I can't blame him. I can't.

SPEAKER_07

I was like, because he had like the brother dude in his okay, he's getting it. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_03

I sound like one.

SPEAKER_10

I sound like a fucking anime character.

SPEAKER_03

I sound like the noise people make when someone's making fun of someone.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah. No that means the guy going, oh it's awful. God damn. That's so great. Apparently the ladies love it, so.

SPEAKER_03

Fortunately. Apparently the men love it. Fortunately for me.

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I got a date tomorrow.

SPEAKER_07

Same same one?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_07

No.

SPEAKER_03

No, no, not that one. Fuck. Dude, I'm being a whore is so fun. I still like want a girlfriend, but like in the meantime?

SPEAKER_12

Do you want us to cut this out?

SPEAKER_03

I don't care. I'm on my way out.

SPEAKER_12

It's even better. I'm on my way out.

SPEAKER_03

Of the room.

SPEAKER_12

Okay. I thought you meant like.

SPEAKER_03

No. You know, yeah. I'm very happy.

SPEAKER_12

That's good.

SPEAKER_03

My only problem is I'm growth.

SPEAKER_12

I just want to reiterate, I'm not suicidal. If I end up dead, I'm not suicidal.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not. I'm not. I've been doing so well in Scugs.

SPEAKER_12

If I say anything about Israel and I end up dead, I'm not suicidal.

SPEAKER_03

The only reason I was able to pay rent is because I got like fifth in my last tournament.

SPEAKER_12

Jesus.

SPEAKER_07

I thought you were gonna say you were finding all the biz Scugs. You can finally say Skugs pays the bills.

SPEAKER_03

It literally does. Go back to discussing Israel.

SPEAKER_12

Wasn't even over there? No. Have a great time. This guy looks Israeli. Fuck. I think it's a good place to end it. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_07

Low curcu and lee. Can I just do one more guess to that guy's name off my funny list? Yeah. Because I don't even know who the hell that is.

SPEAKER_12

Droopy McCool. Nope.

SPEAKER_10

I don't even know who that is. How did you know it wasn't Droopy McCool? Do you know who that was? No, because I ran out of time and it told me who it was. Oh, who is it? Oh, do you want to keep guessing?

SPEAKER_12

Oh, one more. One more.

SPEAKER_10

Because I have no idea who the fuck that was. Droopy McCool is the fucking um freaky obo clarinet guy. Oh shit! This one specifically.

SPEAKER_12

Oh not the Jiz guy.

SPEAKER_07

Oh. Jizz is important. Uh I would I would like John to try and pronounce his name for me. I got you. The one that says Padak.

SPEAKER_12

Padak?

SPEAKER_07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12

Uh Paudok Draba Takat Sap de Recti. Nick Linky T Kivernick Nasevenflikek. A character with an absurdly long name.

SPEAKER_10

Can I see who that looks like I'm not typing that in? Can you like copy and paste?

SPEAKER_12

Darren. Oh, look to see what it looks like.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah, I want to see what they look like. Because it's not them.

SPEAKER_12

Let me. I think it's gonna be easier for me to look it up for you. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, just copy and paste it.

SPEAKER_10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07

Because I have no idea who the fuck this is. So this is like elite knowledge that even you guys don't know. And you guys are like, Oh, I do know who this is. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_10

I don't know who it is.

SPEAKER_07

It's not they're fucking mad. Wow.

SPEAKER_12

Who is it? Yeah, you know this guy.

SPEAKER_10

Oh.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

From was he from He's from Rogue One. Oh.

SPEAKER_11

Yeah. Yeah, you know. Oh, Paulo. Oh, yeah. You know, he's a Lego figure.

SPEAKER_12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10

How do they list that on the box?

SPEAKER_12

Bad.

SPEAKER_10

They probably just said the first part, like Powlock or some shit. Anyway, his name is Unkar Plut. Who the f where is he from? Force Awakens. He was the dude who sold her like the bread, the instant bread.

SPEAKER_12

I was gonna say, I was barely even able to see his face from over here. I just know you said he looks Israeli.

SPEAKER_10

Oh my thank you! Thank you. That's what I was thinking. Am I wrong? Fellows. Next one was Bob Quaternaros. Yo!

SPEAKER_07

It was the mogging picture. I don't know who the fuck is. That's Lobot. Okay.

SPEAKER_12

Oh, we all know Lobot.

SPEAKER_07

Who's that angry? What the fuck is that? Slice noodles.

SPEAKER_01

Let me see.

SPEAKER_07

I don't like his face.

SPEAKER_12

Her. Her. She's the singer in Jabis Palace. Dexter Dexter. That nigga looks like the thing.

SPEAKER_07

That's the goat. Dexter Jetstone. That's the fucking thing.

SPEAKER_12

It's the same species as Benjamin Grimm. That's my goat, bro. You don't fuck with Dexter.

SPEAKER_07

Then the last image is just not pull up. That's probably smart. That was the fat guy. That was Porkins, bro. I told you. That was Porkins. There's the baby hut. Goat of the hut. Uh huh. I don't know what the fuck that nigga is. Xenomorph? I don't know.

SPEAKER_10

Coleman? Coleman? Agent Coleman? Coleman Trevor.

SPEAKER_07

Oh!

SPEAKER_12

The most normal name to the weirdest looking nigga in the case. Trevor Burrus with a B. Yeah. I remember Coleman Trevor.

SPEAKER_10

Oh, here it is. The f oh it was there. Watt Tombor. He's head of the techno union. Oh yeah. Watt Tombor.

SPEAKER_12

Everyone knows Watt Tombore. Shut up. You know?

SPEAKER_07

Wats my boy. Alright. Thank you for giving me Star Wars Brain Rod and Nightmares. But I'm glad I found that fucking Quaternaros was a meme because I knew I swear to God I've seen them. And the fact that I've now.

SPEAKER_12

What the fuck do you mean it was instinct? I was playing with this box of matches for the past like hours.

SPEAKER_11

It's the famous last word. Hey, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_12

Oh yeah, I'm just testing to see if we have a gas leak. Like what?

SPEAKER_09

Just playing with a box of matches and a flammable cartboard. One of them fell out and I just had to.

SPEAKER_10

You just had to? Yeah. I was playing with this box for like the past hour.

SPEAKER_12

It's like cut to like five minutes in the future, and the house is burning down.

SPEAKER_10

At least it's raining out. At least it's not all Fonzo touching these matches.

SPEAKER_12

Is it raining?

SPEAKER_10

It is raining.

SPEAKER_12

Okay. Well, we appreciate you for watching and listening. This has been an interesting episode. For sure. See y'all next time. Fuck forward. Fuck forward. Bye.