The Scat Cast
Three longtime friends Jon, Alphonso, Darren bring shenanigans and food for thought with a wide variety of characters-- all for your listening enjoyment.
The Scat Cast
What if Down Syndrome was Contagious?
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On this week's episode of The Scat Cast, we dive into some crazy hypotheticals, insane theories, and more. You won't want to miss it!
Yeah. A billion dollars. But every day you wake up, you have to spin a wheel, and on the wheel are just a list of medical ailments and syndromes and just like shit like that. Like from anything from a psychiatric to like a cancer diagnosis. And I get that. You get that for a day and it wears off in 24 hours. But every day I don't die from these things. No, you just suffer with them.
SPEAKER_05So like if I spin the wheel and I get like cancer.
SPEAKER_06Like what's cancer for a day? Like stage one? Am I just chilling? Okay, yeah, but you could also get like fucking psychosis or like Down syndrome for a day.
SPEAKER_02I'll just like trains and grilled cheese. That's not that bad.
SPEAKER_01What are you just saying?
SPEAKER_00Trains and grilled cheese.
SPEAKER_07No, I'm laughing. Because like imagine we went to record the podcast one day and one of us just pulled up with Down syndrome.
SPEAKER_05I'm John. I'm Afonso. And I'm Darren. Welcome to the Scat Cast. We don't know either. Alright, guys. So I was eating a chili cheese dog the other day, right? And I gotta know, right? Do y'all have like a favorite penis-shaped food?
SPEAKER_06Honestly, it would be Glizzy's. Really? You think so? Favorite penis? I'm not even lying. I fucking love hot dogs. I mean, I do. And chili cheese dogs too. You hit the cream of the crop.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I don't. I'm always disappointed with chili cheese dogs for some reason. I always like, do you nah? Not me, bro. I'm always like in a mood for them, and then I eat them and I'm like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02That's because you have to make your own chili. I'm not gonna hold you. If you make homemade chili and I'm dude, homemade chili that you make yourself, and you know that's just gonna be big. When you go to a restaurant and they just do like the fucking tube with the white sauce, the the fucking what's it what's the omni man thing? Can I get the the orange protein with the white sauce or whatever the fuck it was? Something like that. Yeah, like when you go to restaurants. What are they talking about? Restaurant brand chili is never good too. Where's the white sauce?
SPEAKER_05You don't want to know where the white sauce is, Terry.
SPEAKER_06Where's the white sauce in chili? Chili's not white.
SPEAKER_02I'm saying white sauce on chili. I'm saying the machine that Omni Man used to make this talking about protein tooth.
SPEAKER_05Talking about Omniman's homemade special chili. Didn't even make it. No, that I'm saying he made the white sauce at least.
SPEAKER_06No, he did it. Wait, did he?
SPEAKER_02No, he didn't. He made the white sauce. No, it came over.
SPEAKER_05Debbie knows about the white sauce.
SPEAKER_02I mean. No, but I'm saying, like, when you get something that's made without love, made from a machine or like a fucking freezer bag, it usually never tastes as good as what your stomach and your heart desires. When you make it yourself from scratch at home, it just hits different, bro.
SPEAKER_05I don't know. I like bananas. That's one of my favorite penis-shaped foods.
SPEAKER_02I don't like bananas. I hate bananas. You hate bananas? I hate the smell. You hate the smell, I hate the taste. Bananas just overtake everything feeling.
SPEAKER_06But yeah. I can smell a banana from like 20 feet away, and I fucking hate it. Really? They're a very like potent recognizable smell. I've never liked them. Yeah. Like any? No. I'm not a I don't I don't consider myself a picky eater anymore, but I still will not eat bananas. I won't either. You can't pay me. Is it any potent recognizable smell? Well, banana has. No, I said it has a very potent smell.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I was like anything with a potent recognizable smell you hate. Well, okay. The same way you feel about smell.
SPEAKER_02Well, I mean, generally, yes, but. Well, the same way you feel about smell, I feel about taste, because I don't know. Like, I can taste banana anything. You can't sneak that shit in there to me. Like, I can pick it up.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, same.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And so it's just like it's a big thing.
SPEAKER_06I don't hate the taste. I just hate the smell.
SPEAKER_02I don't like this ace.
SPEAKER_05I don't know. I really fuck with banana milkshakes and stuff. I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I will say I would rather take a strawberry smoothie than a banana strawberry smoothie.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yes. You know? Yes. Yes. I would never do strawberry banana. It just tastes like banana at that point.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I would rather have strawberry banana.
SPEAKER_05I don't know.
SPEAKER_06Did you just fuck with bananas, bro?
SPEAKER_05I do. I don't know. I like monkeys and stuff. Get a look at this egg over here. Get a look at this Jacobian gorilla. Dude, there's nothing wrong with bananas. I just feel about cucumbers.
SPEAKER_06You just said like two things are wrong with bananas.
SPEAKER_05Alright, whatever. Cucumbers. Three because they're cock shaped. I mean, okay, you said you like glizzies, dude. There's nothing wrong with cucks. Cucumbers or pickles? That's all point.
SPEAKER_02Which one would you rather have? Cucumbers or pickles?
SPEAKER_05Pickles.
SPEAKER_02I think pickles.
SPEAKER_05Easily.
SPEAKER_06Cucumbers. Really? Or would you rather have a cucumber than a pickle? I can eat cucumbers. I can't eat pickles. Really?
SPEAKER_05You can't eat pickles?
SPEAKER_06I mean, I can, but I just don't like them. Oh, why don't you like pickles? I don't like how they taste. Do you like vinegar? Stu vinegar? I like vinegar.
SPEAKER_00You like cucumbers?
SPEAKER_06I'm not a lot of it, right? There's something about it.
SPEAKER_05I don't like it.
SPEAKER_06Because pickles don't, I mean.
SPEAKER_05All pickles are is the cucumbers soaked in vinegar. But you like cucumbers and you like vinegar.
SPEAKER_06Cucumber is like fresh and it's like good for you and shit. I don't know. Cucumbers have like a taste. I mean, pickles are good for you to be like. Cucumbers do have a taste.
SPEAKER_05But it's very bland. Like it's very like.
SPEAKER_06I mean, compared to a pickle, yeah. Yeah, because pickles are fucking awesome. No, because they're potent and gross. Look at you and your potent.
SPEAKER_05Your potent smelling foods. Yes.
SPEAKER_06I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_05But you eat spices too, don't you, white boy, huh? I love spices. Oh, but they smell. Yeah. They smell potent and odorous, don't they?
SPEAKER_06Um I'm using potent in a negative connotation.
SPEAKER_05What does it mean? Like just a smell you don't like?
SPEAKER_06Yes. Just say it's stinky. It's strong and I don't like it. That's what I mean by potent. Just say it's stinky. Yes, it stinks. Yeah, just say that. Okay, banana stinks. It's a over descriptive. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, I think they stink.
SPEAKER_05Damn. They smell the same. Like pickles just smell like vinegar. It has the exact same smell as they don't.
SPEAKER_06No, yeah, I cook with vinegar. They smell totally different.
SPEAKER_05What about like salt and vinegar?
SPEAKER_06I love salt and vinegar chips.
SPEAKER_02You do? Yes. People hate me for that, but I love vinegar. I don't like salt and vinegar chips. I can't do them.
SPEAKER_03You have such weird tastes. I can't do them.
SPEAKER_02I can't do bananas, I can't do salt and vinegar. I can't even I really don't like vinegar buttons.
SPEAKER_06Okay, so I will say I can eat like a whole bag of like sour cream and onion chips. Yes. But I cannot eat a whole bag of salt and vinegar chips. Like I take like I can take like half the bag, probably.
SPEAKER_02I know, I understand that completely. I guess like the because cream is usually more easier to get down. Vinegar is usually acidic.
SPEAKER_05It fights you back a bit. So is glizzy your final answer for like your favorite penis-shaped food then?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Carrots.
SPEAKER_05Carrots?
SPEAKER_06Just straight up carrots? Like you eat them like Bugs Buddy?
SPEAKER_05When I was younger, I used to eat a shit ton of carrots. Like just straight up Bugs Buddy ass big ass carrots.
SPEAKER_02Do you even like cook them? Not like baby carrots or anything. I mean, I like baby carrots too, but like if we're just talking about the my favorite penis-shaped object, I think I like carrots. They're cool. They're good for your eyes.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I don't mind carrots, but I really fuck with carrots when they're cooked and like soft.
SPEAKER_05I don't like soft carrots.
SPEAKER_06I like hard carrots. I like soft carrots.
SPEAKER_05I I don't hate them, but like it's always like a little bit of a disappointing thing for me when I go to bite a carrot and find out it's soft.
SPEAKER_06You're like, oh yeah. I mean it's like cooked, so I mean I would expect it to be soft.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I know. But like if I if I saw like a carrot laid out and I went to go bite, like say it was like just the carrot, it wouldn't look like a carrot, it would be like cooked and soft, and like it doesn't look like that. It's soft. Yeah, you know. See, this penising, we don't want flaccid objects, we want hard crunch.
SPEAKER_02Besides glitching.
SPEAKER_05I don't know about y'all, but the penises I'm thinking of are never soft. All right.
SPEAKER_06Hot dogs.
SPEAKER_05Those aren't soft.
SPEAKER_06Those are pickles aren't soft. They're soft. Pickles are not soft, they're crunchy. Oh yeah, they have a crunch, but I mean like that's not soft then by definition. Something kind of something kind of banana is soft. I could say banana.
SPEAKER_05If I could grab a pickle and fucking like tap the table with it, it makes a like a knocking sound. It's not soft. There's no way.
SPEAKER_06I don't think it makes a knocking sound like that. A cucumber remake, that a pickle is like more, what do you call it? The pickles are the same texture as a cucumber. They're the same text. It's softer because it's been sitting in a fucking marinade for like a year.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but not by much though. Yeah, that's why like there's still the same text.
SPEAKER_06It's still softer than a cucumber.
SPEAKER_05You're not gonna fucking be able to squeeze that shit. Like, it's still the same thing.
SPEAKER_02I think people squeeze pickles. They probably could squeeze a cucumber.
SPEAKER_05Like they could just like you're saying, they can just grab it and fucking squeeze it, like make the top and bottom pop out.
SPEAKER_02Have you ever seen the juicer from Corey in the House? Y'all haven't seen Cory in the House?
SPEAKER_05No, not really. Really? I played the DS. I didn't play the DS. I was gonna say it was like a little bit before my time, unfortunately. Really?
SPEAKER_02Corey the House was before your time? Have you seen that so Raven though?
SPEAKER_05No. I didn't see any of those shows. I watched a little bit of that, I think. Like just a tiny, tiny little bit. Okay, basically.
SPEAKER_06Was it into like the sitcom show?
SPEAKER_05I watched reruns of Wizards of Waverly Plays.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I used to watch that shit like that was like this guy's called the Juicer. It's a guy? Yeah, he's like an adjuster.
SPEAKER_05What he said, have you seen the juicer? I thought it was like a also dare to yet?
SPEAKER_03Oh wait, I don't know, dude. You pull up the clip.
SPEAKER_02Okay, here we go. So you're saying, is that it? I mean, yeah, he juices shit. Why'd you do that just to say?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, there's a character we like juice anything.
SPEAKER_02You're talking about squeezing pickles, and I was like, like the juicer? That's the juicer.
SPEAKER_06I guess. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Why'd you have to pull up a clip to describe that?
SPEAKER_06It wasn't even a good clip. It was a dude like squeezing a fucking thing in a bag.
SPEAKER_02He grabbed cigarettes at one point in the show and he just juices the cigarettes. This nigga has super. Did he not have cigarettes in Corey in the house? Yes, he did. It was an anti-I will literally find him juicing the cigarettes. You don't even see the show. How are you gonna tell me?
SPEAKER_06He can juice anything, including cigarettes. Dude, Derek, look at this clip I just showed John.
SPEAKER_05Dude, he just juiced the nicotine out of this cigarette. Like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_02Are you pulling it up? Yes! You don't need to pull up the clip. You just said he didn't do it like you saw the show, nigga. I know what my eyes saw. Dude, he did not juice a cigarette.
SPEAKER_05I'm telling you, he didn't juice a cigarette. Guy has never seen this. Alright, John, hold on. Yeah, he didn't juice a cigarette. I promise you. There's no way he juiced a cigarette. You can't juice a cigarette. How are you gonna juice a cigarette? Only the juicer can juice a cigarette. And the juicer juice. The juicer wouldn't juice a cigarette, though. He knows better than that. He knows you're supposed to stay away from cigarettes. He really is. He's gonna fail to find this fucking clip.
SPEAKER_06What a niche clip.
SPEAKER_05The juicer juicing cigarette.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm just gonna just find it.
SPEAKER_05Is that what you looked up? Juicer juicing cigarette?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I gotta scrub through that.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, they don't even have the episode out. Okay, look, look, look, look. Okay. So he's earned his nickname due to his strange ability to extract liquid from various objects, such as heads, paper bags, cigarettes, papers, and even a duck's sculpture. So I can't find the clip, but he did do cigarettes.
SPEAKER_06Thank you for the citation, Alfonso.
SPEAKER_02On fandom. So you know these guys have nothing better to do but to cite episodes. So you're go you're getting that off the wiki. Yes.
SPEAKER_05Because I can't find the clip, but he did do cigarettes. That was the thing. He says who? The Corey in the House Wiki? You think it's a you think it's a valuable resource? I don't think so.
SPEAKER_06I wasn't saying I don't believe you.
SPEAKER_05Thank you, Darren. No, I'm saying I don't believe him because he's not going to find the clip. Proofer didn't happen. Video didn't happen. That's what I'm saying. Unless he can find the clip, I don't believe it. He's not gonna find the clip. Disney erased that shit off of existence.
SPEAKER_02It probably did because it was juicing. That's what I'm saying. There's no way.
SPEAKER_03They don't have that shit on fucking Disney channel. No, they've definitely probably just shot that shit in the back to the street. Isn't Corey's dad the president?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02Oh, is that how he was in the White House? Yeah, that's why it's called Corey in the house. No, because his dad is a chef for the president. Yeah, nigga said I didn't see the show. Oh.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I said I didn't see the show.
SPEAKER_02You asked us both.
SPEAKER_06We both said no.
SPEAKER_02Somebody making shit up. I didn't what did I make? He asked the question! He said, Oh, is this because his father's the president? Yeah, he asked the question.
SPEAKER_05I asked. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02During Obama era, like this nigga.
SPEAKER_05Fucking number one fucking Cory in the House fan over here. You're like, God damn. I've never seen him ride or die this shit like fucking ever in my life. You never once in your life brought up Cory in the house. Never once. Never once in your life have you brought up Cory in the house. All of a sudden you're the biggest Corey in the House fan.
SPEAKER_02Because you've spoken on my special interest for juicing objects. You reminded me. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06I've never seen you juice anything. I mean, no, I haven't seen you juice anything.
SPEAKER_02I don't have a juice in it. My mom used to juice at my house, though. Juicing's my special interest.
SPEAKER_05What's your favorite penis-shaped food? You said carrots? Yeah, carrots. That's your final answer. It's fucking carrots. Well, he already chose like a hot dog. You can still say the same answer. That's gonna be my answer too. Is maybe that or corn? Corn would be a good one.
SPEAKER_02I get tired of corn. Kill yourself.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, what?
SPEAKER_02Like how many how many corn on the cobs can't eat before you're like, I can't cob the corn.
SPEAKER_05I don't usually eat it on the cob, to be honest.
SPEAKER_06I mean, I I could eat like one cob. I don't know. I do get tired of it first. I've cobbed myself out. I can, but I've got to be.
SPEAKER_02We went to like this K barbecue place, and I just ate like five to six on the cob?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, they have like these like You went to a K barbecue place, you got corn on the cob? No, that's basic still, bro. They have good fucking corn.
SPEAKER_06Like cheese corn? No, it was just strip, just like you could put them on the corn. Oh, let's delete it. I bet it's good. Yeah, it was good. It was good, but I ate too many. I love corn. I ate too much.
SPEAKER_02I ate too much. Yeah, that shit was, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Was it like a whole corn husk or was it like two, like half?
SPEAKER_02Like half-cut corn in between then. Yeah. So I ate like four to five corns. And you're saying it's not? Like you don't like it? I could eat more carrots than I could do corn. That's what I'm trying to say. After I just get tired, because like the husk have like that skin, like from the kernels. I'm not eating the husk. So when you eat the kernels, there's like when you eat the kernels, you're like pulling it out of the husk, and then you get some of that leftover fiber. It's too fibery for me. That's a good thing. Which is good for like, you know, your colon and shitting. But like carrots, you can just like eat them, bitches. Like I could eat a whole bag of baby carrots, no issue.
SPEAKER_05Why don't you just eat corn off the cob then?
SPEAKER_02Because he doesn't like it.
SPEAKER_05I just said I can't, like, I get tired of it. You said it was the fiber shit. It's not on corn off the cob. It's just on the cob. You said off the cob. Yeah. You meant off the cob.
SPEAKER_02I said off the cob.
SPEAKER_06You said on the cob just now.
SPEAKER_02Either way, it's a large amount of. But then it's not penis shaped.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that is true.
SPEAKER_02It disqualifies it.
SPEAKER_05Do baby carrots count as penis shaped? It's like micro-penhabis. I'm not gonna say it's micro penis shaped, I guess. I mean, maybe you want to count that.
SPEAKER_06It's penis shaped, but not to scale, unless you're Alfonso.
SPEAKER_05But um, I've you count baby carrots as penis shaped, you gotta count like green beans and shit then or something, though. I don't know. No, like vaguely similar. No, not at all.
SPEAKER_02This they gotta have some girth to it. Even if you did count green beans, I don't think anyone's gonna say green beans and hot dog is an option. Are cocktailinis and hot dogs two different like categories of like stuff? No, dude, it's the same thing, man.
SPEAKER_05Can you just overcomplice? No, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_06I would count it. Don't overcomplicate. I would count it. What the fuck are you doing? I would count, I would count it. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_05You're like licking out of the side of your mouth. Yeah, because they're dry. My mouth is my lips are dry. I thought you're like trying to like give me a code or something. No, it's not important. I thought you're like trying to like fucking sequel count it. I thought you're like, yeah, I'd count it. Yeah, yeah, I'd count it.
SPEAKER_02I'm also like eating my dinner right now, so like I'm getting shit off the city.
SPEAKER_00I was like so confused.
SPEAKER_02Because I was gonna say, like, technically all those just come down to like the the the class. What's the fuck the family kingdom of sleep? Like a corn dog is different from a hot dog. But they're all in the corn dogs are pretty good. But like two. Speaking animal kingdoms.
SPEAKER_06I was gonna say K-dogs, but I think I still prefer hot dogs.
SPEAKER_02But like animal kingdom-wise, they're all in the family of sausage, no? Yeah, but a hot dog is not like I wouldn't call shit.
SPEAKER_06Like the entire term is let me ask this. Hear me out. It sounds nuts. I wouldn't call a hot dog a sausage. That's fair.
SPEAKER_02Really? Yes, because like if you ever had sausage. Well, sausage just means like more spicy, but you can have like a spicy hot dog. Yes, but it's and you can also use a sausage as a hot dog and eat it. Same thing. You can put a sausage in a hot dog. No, dude, there's a brat worse than a hot dog.
SPEAKER_06Like, you got- What the fuck is a brat? It's a fucking sausage, like a German sausage, like the ones that are.
SPEAKER_02I know they're German, but like what why are they just longer? Is that the only like no? Like it's totally different. Like they're different types of sausage. But they are sausages.
SPEAKER_05Like hot dogs. So hot dog is specifically the construction of the weenie, the glizzy, in like inside of the bun, right? Does that make sense? Hot dog is the whole thing. It's not just what's inside the bun. It's just not the meat. The bun, like it involves the construction of the bun and the weenie. So it's a sandwich. It's a hot dog is sandwich, like synonymous. Yes. Okay. Well, it's not synonymous. It's just that's the type of sandwich it is. It's a hot dog.
SPEAKER_06Like, this is a bratwurst. And it's not a hot dog. Oh, those look so good. Right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they are. But like you could put that in a hot dog bun and like hot dog. Yeah, people do. So my hot dog bun, then it's a hot dog.
SPEAKER_05It's it's the construction is But I think traditionally they don't have to be. If I take a hot dog out of the bun. But they don't, but yeah.
SPEAKER_02So John, if I take a hot dog out of the bun, does it become a bratwurst?
SPEAKER_05No, because what was inside the bun?
SPEAKER_02A hot dog sausage. Yeah, it's uh it depends on what it was.
SPEAKER_05So this is like a like a square and rectangle kind of thing, I guess. Like a bratwurst is a red. Okay, if you take the patty off of a burger, do you still have a burger? No, you just have a patty.
SPEAKER_06But if what if you have like the bottom bun?
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm saying. Like if you rip a bun of a hot dog in half, do you still have a hot dog? Okay, but like you have a piece of bread with a weenie, that's all you got. It's not a hot dog anymore. It's a sad pathetic.
SPEAKER_02Okay, what if you have a burger without the bread and just have like everything else on it? Everything else on it, though. Like the cheese, the lettuce, tomatoes. Like, it would still be a burger, no? Why? It's just you know, but it's not a burger, it's just gluten-free.
SPEAKER_05They make gluten-free burgers.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, no bread. You don't even need bread on a burger. I could argue you could have two pieces of lettuce, you know. That's still a burger. Yes.
SPEAKER_02So then, yeah, that's a burger with two pieces of lettuce. You need the bread. So then if you just take that out, then it's how it's constructed.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Forum follows function. Yeah, if you had all. So if I get two other patties and put a third patty that's decorated like a burger, but two. You have a burger, burger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I would say the two patties that are like the buns, quote unquote, have to be distinct enough from the inside inner contents.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02That's what I said. Like one is like just one seasoned burger, like with cheese, tomatoes, all that shit, and then just two patties.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you can do that. I don't see why not. So that's a burger. Yeah. It's the same thing. If you had a hot dog instead of a bun, you had like lettuce on the bottom of it. It's still a hot dog.
SPEAKER_06I've actually had that before it's good.
SPEAKER_05It sounds like it would be.
SPEAKER_06That's how my mom eats it.
SPEAKER_05Really? Really? It sounds like it would be good. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_06My mom's a very low carb.
SPEAKER_02Almost like refreshing in a way. Like if it's lettuce instead of like bread, like bread like takes water out of your body, the lettuce would almost like, you know.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05What I was gonna ask is would you count rice as a penis-shaped food? Ooh. Ooh. I think I think gurf because I I think you can argue it is.
SPEAKER_02I think gurf is still.
SPEAKER_06That's what I'm saying. So if you scaled up a grain of rice.
SPEAKER_02But gurf matters, though. I'm saying, like, you ate it like a hot dog.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Then yeah, but that's not how you eat rice.
SPEAKER_05Well, I'm saying, like, you can't like judge it off of the scale. You have to think about it. Okay, because John, arguably, like what's it? Because the shape of something, the size has nothing to do with the shape of it.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_05But then it's the proportions that make it the shape. You see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02So are fingers penis shaped then? Yeah. You don't think so? Is your is an outer belly button also a penis shape object? Because it is cylindrical, technically. It's just really flat and really small. We're getting too into the weed.
SPEAKER_06Are eggs penis shaped? What? Are eggs penis shaped? Like a boiled egg?
SPEAKER_02Ooh, no, I think they're too eggshell. Maybe if it's like a fucked up looking egg, maybe. No, no, no. Eggs have their own shape. I think we have to say eggs have their own shape. We can't start crossing eggs are too ovular.
SPEAKER_05Ovular? Like an oval? It's ovular.
SPEAKER_06I mean, compare the head of your penis to like the top of an egg.
SPEAKER_02Ooh. Well, not mine, but I get what you're saying.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but we're not saying like dick head shaped. We're just saying penis shaped. Not penis head shaped.
SPEAKER_06Not glan-shaped.
SPEAKER_05Otherwise, we start getting into like mushrooms and shit, too.
SPEAKER_06Mushrooms are penis shaped. What kind of penis do you think? What penis? I guess if you flip it upside down, it's like balls and penis shaped. Y'all don't got a little hood? Like a little umbrella?
SPEAKER_02Like an umbrella? You uncircumcised?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06You know, uncircumcised? That's not even what that looks like. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_02Like you got a little umbrella?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_06Umbrella. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02Mushrooms are an umbrella. You know, like Yeah, but your penis does not look like that.
SPEAKER_05Close enough. No, it's phallic-shaped. Mushrooms are phallic-shaped. I've never once looked at a mushroom and been like, that looks like a penis. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06I think they're phallic. If you look them upside down and it's like the balls, then yeah.
SPEAKER_05Sometimes you'll look at like a banana or hot dog, but dude, he's like eating a penis. But you're never gonna do that with a mushroom. Hold on. Probably gotta Google.
SPEAKER_03Are you Googling mushroom penis? No, no, no, no, no. Oh my fault. You're going into your history and looking up mushroom penis.
SPEAKER_05Okay, I got you.
SPEAKER_03That makes more sense.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Read them and weep, nigga. See, that that is an instance of a penis shaped mushroom. That is definitely a penis shaped mushroom.
SPEAKER_06Would you say that's your favorite one?
SPEAKER_02But like no.
SPEAKER_06Irrelevant. Okay, next one.
SPEAKER_02But like, I'm sorry, like the little hood. They got little hoods. Like, that's that's a dude.
SPEAKER_05I know mushrooms have little hoods. They're called caps. Caps. Yeah, I I know they have that, but we're talking about a the comparison to a penis.
SPEAKER_04You're saying, Oh, your penis doesn't have a little hood? It doesn't have a little hood. Of course it has a little hood. I guess it doesn't have a little cap would be the more would you say you even really have a penis if it doesn't have a little hood on? No. I'm saying you have a stay one open cylinder.
SPEAKER_02You have an open cylinder, which is a good thing. You know what? I will I will I'll concede mushrooms are penis shaped.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's fair. I'll say some mushrooms are penis shaped. I say not all mushrooms are, but mushrooms.
SPEAKER_06You were talking about like portobella. Most fuckers are not penis penis-shaped.
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm saying. Mushrooms can be penis-shaped. I'll say that. Yeah. I think grains of rice, I would argue, are penis-shaped. I still would argue that. I feel like if you enlarged a grain of rice, it would look about the same shape as a hot dog.
SPEAKER_02I was almost like it's like it's not an egg shape, but obviously they're like closer to like that cylindrical egg you were talking about. They just don't have like the same they're too uniform in a way.
SPEAKER_05There was like that's kind of how hot dogs are. They're just like a fucking little little ride.
SPEAKER_01Little penis.
SPEAKER_05I guess. I guess. See what I'm saying? See, I'll never would have thought about this if I didn't ask about your favorite penis-shaped foods. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, what are you looking up? Are you looking up penis-shaped rice?
SPEAKER_06Penis-shaped foods. Oh.
SPEAKER_05Does asparagus count?
SPEAKER_06Uh geoduck clams.
SPEAKER_02The f oh yeah, the ones that squirt out water.
SPEAKER_06I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Oh, those. I do know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_02I have no idea. Those mukbang niggas eat them and they come.
SPEAKER_06Oh, that's what those are. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Geoduck clams. Mukbang niggas will eat them and then they come in their mouth. They come? The food comes in their mouth.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I have seen those.
SPEAKER_02Exactly, exactly. Okay. Really quick.
SPEAKER_06Dude, it's 140 bucks for one. Jesus.
SPEAKER_02I'm not paying that much money to have something busted in my mouth.
SPEAKER_06Coward.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. We could split it. And like all have it. Like what lady in the tramp style just grab a different end.
SPEAKER_05Dude, imagine like watching a video of three guys getting bucockied by a vegetable. No, that's seafood, right? Is it a clam? It's a clam?
SPEAKER_03Is it geoduck clam?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it's a clam.
SPEAKER_03It was seafood, yeah. It's a clam? Why does it look like that?
SPEAKER_06You could see the shell and like the organism was like out of the shell.
SPEAKER_05Oh, that was the shell?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, the end, like the ball-shaped part.
SPEAKER_02Okay. It's a terrible job at hiding. Because clam is supposed to be hidden. It sucks. No. Like clams and oysters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I know what you mean.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's terrible. It's like the fucking daddy long leg of clams. Like you're just too big. Like what what function do you serve? I've never had clam once in my life.
SPEAKER_03Clam chowder, none of that.
SPEAKER_05Nope. Never once.
SPEAKER_03I've never had oyster. I've never had clam. The concept scares me. Well, you can get sick from those way more often than you think, which is the craziest part.
SPEAKER_05Because like I've always heard they're like mucus-y.
SPEAKER_02They are. I haven't eaten them, but I've had families who have told me that they're pretty mucus. I did have a snail. Snail was fucking gross. Was it? It was like lemongrass snail. So it tastes like lemongrass, but like this weird, chewy, fucking gross. It was I went to like this Asian festival mark thing in Duluth and they had lemongrass snail. Have you ever had any of that stuff, Jared?
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know what lemongrass snail? Yeah, so it's literally. It was like oysters.
SPEAKER_06Yes, I love oysters and I love clams.
SPEAKER_02It wasn't I don't know if it was Vietnamese or Philippines or something. It was like lemon lemongrass snail.
SPEAKER_06Oh probably Vietnamese.
SPEAKER_02Probably Vietnamese?
SPEAKER_06Because uh French. It is Vietnamese. I I can read this language. I can't read it, but I don't recognize it. Yeah, I can read this language. I know this language.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Yeah, I know what this language looks like. That shit was not good, bro. No, that's fair.
SPEAKER_06Lemongrass is good though.
SPEAKER_02Not when it's mixed with snail, it's way too strong of a lemon. I don't think the lemongrass was the issue then. I've never had snail. Lemongrass was the issue because I did like the taste of it with the snail. Like the snail meat. If the snail meat tasted like anything else, maybe I could have eaten it. But like the fact that the lemongrass was. You think if it tastes like carrot, you would have liked it better? I like beef.
SPEAKER_05That's very different from lemongrass. Exactly. But like so is carrot. I think carrot is probably more different. Or beef is more different from lemongrass than carrot. They're both at least plants.
SPEAKER_02Well, it was also like barbecue, so you have to imagine there's like almost like a smoked, like it's like smoked lemongrass. So I guess like beef would be better. That's weird. Who has a smoked carrot? I don't think that's a real thing.
SPEAKER_06Smoked carrots is a thing. I've never seen or heard that. I know it's I I couldn't. It probably sounds good. Smoke anything.
SPEAKER_02I'm just saying, like, that's not like what you when you go into the cookout function, unless you have like oh, even vegans don't do smoked carrots for real. Like, I've never seen a vegan be like, yo, they do like smoked fucking cucumbers, smoked broccoli. They do like smoked green vegetables usually. Yeah. But like carrots, not really green, it's an orange. So no, silly, that's not an orange. Fuck you. Come on.
SPEAKER_06Don't fuck with oranges like that. I oranges are my favorite food. Like eating oranges or like sucking the um I meant eating orange. Oh. I meant heating. No, you don't like suck like juice out of it? Like, no, I eat them.
SPEAKER_02Don't eat the whole thing.
SPEAKER_05I I I but you suck just the juice out.
SPEAKER_06Don't eat the orange. I do. But I know people who just suck it out and throw it away. I've never seen that in my life. I would like judge them low-key if you just kind of just juice. Dude, I went to a um cafe with my friend the other day, and he bought um pork buns. But like on the menu, it was just like pork something, something. And he thought it was just gonna be like straight up pork.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So then he like opened it up and just ate the filling and then tossed the bun to the side. And I watched him. I was like, what the fuck are you doing?
SPEAKER_05Yeah. What are you? Five? No, yeah. No, I I I get that. So you paid like $10 just to eat the stuff.
SPEAKER_06I ate the empty dumplings or the pork buns. I just ate the bun part for him. I was like, which kind of sucked because I don't know. I wasn't getting anything. I mean, just kind of bland, but look where they fill it out. I don't want to waste it. Will they fill it with me? Yeah, he ate all the meat. He would like open it up, eat the meat filling, and then toss it.
SPEAKER_05That's what I do with boiled eggs. You just eat the yolk? Nope. Opposite. Just eat the whites. I eat around the yolk.
SPEAKER_06That's fair. Yeah. Um, I used to not like the um cooked yolk. Yolk. Yeah, I don't like that. I've always done that. I've got to be a bit more.
SPEAKER_05What about soft boiled eggs? Uh wait, what do you say? But why don't I just soft boil them? Well, I do that if I'm putting it in something. If I'm just eating the egg, I'll hard boil it. Why don't I just soft boil it if you like the yolk? I don't like the yoke. Even when it's runny? I don't usually like yolk. Oh. Yeah. The only time I'll do that is when I'm eating like ramen or something, and that way I can like mix the yolk in with it. That way I don't taste it as much. That's fine.
SPEAKER_06The whites are like the healthiest part anyway. Yeah. I was gonna say the yolk was the healthiest part. The yolk is the um fattiest part. The yellow? Yes.
SPEAKER_05I'm gonna say it too. I've never understood why people throw away the shells of peanuts.
SPEAKER_06You eat them?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I am not on board with that. I don't. That is crazy to be able to do it. You're fucking weird.
SPEAKER_02So when you go to a bar, you just pop the whole thing? Dude, we gotta go to a bar and see this. I can't believe it. Fucking weird God. No, you don't. You split that.
SPEAKER_06Why do you think they give you a trash bin when they give you the peanut?
SPEAKER_05Because people usually throw them away. Yes.
SPEAKER_02But they like it. Why do you think they throw them away, John?
SPEAKER_05Why?
SPEAKER_02You're not supposed to fucking eat them.
SPEAKER_05Why? What's it gonna do to you? Nothing serious. Like, what's it gonna do to you? It just doesn't seem good. Why? Like you can eat apple seeds, but like are free thinkers when a peanut is given to them. Like, what do you what do you mean? Bro, I've accidentally eaten the fucking case before.
SPEAKER_06I didn't like it. I spat it out.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but they have salt on it. It tastes good. Just salt.
SPEAKER_02Just salt in the side. I can put salt in anything, this motherfucker will eat it. Yeah. I mean what why are you looking at me like I'm so weird, bro? John, in a room of. Do they clean it? They salt it.
SPEAKER_06That's it. Salt clean stuff. Uh to a degree? Yeah. A degree.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I don't know. I eat it. Salt preserve stuff. I wouldn't say it cleans. Because when you think about it, most people at those, they don't change out those peanuts on a day-to-day basis. So everyone's hands are touching that shell. And then the whole reason you crack them open to eat the nut because you're not eating the shell. This motherfucker just goes, Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Dude, they're good. They're good. Should give them a walnut and see what happens. I know, right? Well, walnut you can't eat, those are too hard. I can't bite into that. But peanut shell is pretty easy to bite into.
SPEAKER_02Would you eat an almond with the nut shell on too?
SPEAKER_05I do. I've never had an almond with a shell on it. But I do.
SPEAKER_06It's not even a shell. It's like a coating on it. Almonds come from a shell. Oh well, then yeah, never mind. I've never eaten it from a shell.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, I've never eaten just for like most nuts are in shells.
SPEAKER_06I think the That makes sense when you point that out. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Are pecans in a shell? Why are you making that difference than most nuts are?
SPEAKER_06Don't pecans come from a tree?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06They're cashews, aren't they? Again, they're different.
SPEAKER_05Almonds. Peanuts aren't even fucking nuts. That's what I'm saying. It's like, why are you like getting upset with me for asking a question, bro? You just said most of them. I was like, are pecans in a shell? You didn't say all of them, you said most. Oh, pecans are different. Yeah, assholes.
SPEAKER_06Cashews. Yeah. And pecans do come from a shell.
SPEAKER_00Ah! Bitch! But you didn't know. I didn't fucking know. Hunt! That's why I said today.
SPEAKER_06You were like, dude, I said most. Like, I could be wrong.
SPEAKER_02I left a 90, I left a 1% chance of error. I was 99% certain.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so then if it wasn't in a shell, you'd be like, I mean, I said it might.
SPEAKER_02I'm just writing away. Exactly. I never lose.
SPEAKER_05Well, we're gonna take in the fucking middle route.
SPEAKER_06Like, no, you were wrong anyway.
SPEAKER_05Finn sitting to the max. Yeah, exactly. Pretty sure.
SPEAKER_06See, I told you this would happen. I don't know.
SPEAKER_05Like, yeah, if y'all had peanuts right now, I'd eat them with the shell on. That's just how I eat them. I've ate them that way my entire life. Do your family does your family eat them like that? No. This is me. Nice thing. Because that would always happen. My parents would be like, Why are you eating that with a shell? And I'd like to eat it with a shell. And they'd be like, I mean, I guess it's not killing me.
SPEAKER_06Where are you guys looking at me weird?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I said that too. I was like, guys, why do you not eat it with a shell? Like, it's just like again, it'll be the same thing. They're like, it's not that it tastes bad. It's just like it just feels wrong.
SPEAKER_06It just feels dirty. Like he said, everyone's hands are on it. It's not clean.
SPEAKER_05I don't care.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_05It's never bothered me. It's just like, I don't know. A little freaky over there. It's like not, I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I guess it's dirty, but like I don't know. Anything else on the peanut discussion? No. But the way he eats peanuts is why I don't eat like watermelon seeds. Some people do. Like, I just can't eat seeds or like hard. You can.
SPEAKER_05I thought they were like filled with cyanide.
SPEAKER_06Those are apple seeds. Even then, you can eat apple seeds because it takes an exorbit amount of apple seeds to eat.
SPEAKER_03You can eat like over a thousand or something like that. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_05Well, I don't eat them because they're hard. That's one reason why I don't.
SPEAKER_02He said, I don't eat them because they're hard.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, what?
SPEAKER_02Eats peanut shells. Peanut shells aren't like hard. They're not hard. Apple seeds are of the same level of chewability as a peanut shell. Okay, maybe he's right about that. But um I wouldn't know.
SPEAKER_06I've never chewed it. I still wouldn't call peanut shells hard. They're like soft, but they're very cheap. He wouldn't eat apple or watermelon seeds, they have the same level of chewability. They're hard to break apart in your mouth, like peanut shells. But they're they're chewy. Exactly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's what I'm saying. All three of those show that same like distinctive trait. Apples because they're not chewy. They're pretty chewy. Have you ever chewed an apple seed? I mean, like. So what are melon seeds and apples are pretty good?
SPEAKER_05They're different kinds of chewy. I've never gone to the center of an apple and had the desire to eat an apple seed. It's never seemed appealing to me. Because like with a peanut, you have to like eat, you have to get through the shell to get to the actual peanut. With the apple, you're eating something in the peanut butter.
SPEAKER_06You're just eating shell because like the the shell is like 80% of the mass.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but they have the peanut on the inside. The peanut's like the good part. But you're eating like shell to get 20% nut. I do taste the peanut.
SPEAKER_06But like, no, you're just most like 80% of it is the fucking shell.
SPEAKER_05Usually what I'll do is I'll like I'll bite it to like open the peanut. I'll eat the peanut and then I'll eat the shell after because like I already opened it up and it's a post-game snack?
SPEAKER_06That's a little that's a little more respectable, I guess.
SPEAKER_05Not in my eyes.
SPEAKER_02I prefer we just ate the whole nut, honestly, instead of going back for seconds. I do that too sometimes, but like it usually eat the whole nut. Like, why are we like this? Didn't peanut didn't I get the shell?
SPEAKER_05Like, what those uh okay, but you're implying that people like just grab the apple and fucking eat the entire fucking apple, like stem and all.
SPEAKER_02That would be crazy.
SPEAKER_04That's basically what you're saying. You're like, oh, you don't eat the fucking seeds of the apple.
SPEAKER_02I'm saying, like, the way you're eating a peanut, you might as well do that with that logic. Well, I don't like the seeds of the apple.
SPEAKER_05I barely even like watermelon. I'm not gonna eat the seeds of a watermelon. I barely like that.
SPEAKER_02You eat sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds whole?
SPEAKER_05Are you not supposed to?
SPEAKER_02No, you you eat sunflower seeds.
SPEAKER_06You can't. I'm just I'm just trying to I don't know about a whole. I never had them. I'm gonna start adding them to this.
SPEAKER_02You can eat sunflower seeds whole and you can eat pumpkin seeds whole. You can swallow the seed casings, but like they're just really hard to chew or are chewier. But that's what I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_05I didn't even know you were supposed to break into them. I thought you just ate them whole.
SPEAKER_02I'm learning a lot about John today.
SPEAKER_05I legitimately I don't know.
SPEAKER_02He doesn't know. What do you mean you're learning anything? We're speculating. None of us have had sunflower seeds.
SPEAKER_06You've never had sunflower seeds ever? No, I just none of us have had sunflower seeds. Why are you wh why does it surprise you that I haven't had sunflows? She eats them whole. I've had sunflower seeds. Oh, never mind. That's what I'm surprised.
SPEAKER_05You never had sunflower seeds?
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_05They sell them at gas stations and stuff.
SPEAKER_06I know. I wanted I said I wanted to start eating them, but I just haven't yet.
SPEAKER_02Like it's any type of school fair or any type of like.
SPEAKER_06I've never got sunflower seeds.
SPEAKER_05We just not like were they present already? What do you mean you want to start eating them, but you've never tried them? Because I want to start eating them. Just say you want to try them then. Fine, I want to try them. You're just gonna eat it the one time. It's not starting to eat something. Starting applies is gonna be like a routine from here.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, my bad. Shit. My question is, was this like a conscious choice or were they never around?
SPEAKER_06I just don't remember ever being offered sunflower seeds or like wanting to eat them. So I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Wanting is okay.
SPEAKER_06I don't I don't know. I just don't. That's not something I can think if I've never thought about that.
SPEAKER_02Same reason you go to like a school fair and they're smelling like those big pickles, like they were selling sunflower seeds. I was like, You've just never been around those? They smelled pickles in school? Yeah, I mean they like at the at the like those uh May. How the fuck is such a big deal? No, I've just never had sunflower seeds. What did they call like field days and stuff like that?
SPEAKER_05They did not sell pickles at fucking field day.
SPEAKER_02They did. They sold big pickles. I went to your school pickle? No, my elementary school, they didn't. I went to your elementary school. No, I didn't, I guess. Exactly. Yeah, my my elementary and middle school was so different. Like they had like big ass pickles, they had like those long ass airheads, they had like push pops, they had sunflower seeds, they had a lot of good shit.
SPEAKER_05But yeah. Yes, I ate the sunflower seed whole. I didn't even know you're supposed to break into it.
SPEAKER_02I legitimately did not know that. Oh yeah, you break them and spit them. But I mean, yeah, I guess you want to eat them whole, you get in. They are also salted. I'm noticing you just salt any object and I was like, I guess I eat the whole thing.
SPEAKER_06I mean, if you're supposed to get you're supposed to get a I have a laptop in front of me. Why the fuck didn't I just look this up? What are you looking up? Are you supposed to eat the shell of a sunflower seed?
SPEAKER_02It doesn't hurt you. It's just it's one of those things like it's just a choice. It's just a I guess like with the peanut shit, it's just a choice.
SPEAKER_05Well, I mean, the peanut thing, uh you're supposed to break the shell, but I don't remember why. It's like the same thing with like choice. I should not eat sunflower seed shells.
SPEAKER_06Why?
SPEAKER_05What does it say? Why?
SPEAKER_06It's the same thing with gum. I always swallow gum. Generally harmless, but can cause constipation, intestinal blockages, and undigested pieces can damage your con painful tears. Ooh, I mean that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Pretty sharp.
SPEAKER_06It sounds pretty bad. Yeah. I don't know why it's said generally harmless and tall.
SPEAKER_02It says it can destroy your intestines.
SPEAKER_06Weather D-type kind of shit, but yeah.
SPEAKER_05I say it's generally harmless, but like has like a small chance to do that, I guess.
SPEAKER_02I guess you're unlucky like that guy with the the calf. Oh my god.
unknownOh yeah.
SPEAKER_05Speaking of hot.
SPEAKER_06When I was talking today, I was I was literally thinking about it, I just didn't want to say it. Oh my god. No, I guess I have to. What? I saw a fillet penis at work. Oh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_05It kind of the fuck? Was that like a good or bad sound? Bad sound. Okay. Ah, fillet?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_05Like fillet? Yeah. Penis. Uh-uh.
SPEAKER_02Uh-uh.
SPEAKER_05Is this like the penis episode?
SPEAKER_02It's becoming the penis. We've talked about dicks for like 40 minutes now. Is that a bad thing?
SPEAKER_03I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Is that is is that is that the end of the world?
SPEAKER_05That's supposed to get when you come to the scat cast. You get well supposed to be shit. It's called the Scat cast.
SPEAKER_03We're talking about dicks.
SPEAKER_05How much would someone have to pay you for you to let them shit on you? A lot. To shit on your penis. I can't do it.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, I couldn't do it.
SPEAKER_05How much money would it take? I couldn't do it. Did you look up a picture of it?
SPEAKER_06It was worse than what I saw today. Let me see. Nah. I think I'm good. Yeah, you're good. I'm a medical nerd. I like seeing gory shit. You are?
SPEAKER_02I do like seeing gory medical shit. Whoa, whoa. Hey, what, what, what? So that's what happened?
SPEAKER_06Yes, but that's worse than what I saw.
SPEAKER_02That is a hot dog. Yes.
SPEAKER_05That is a hot dog with a catheter. I hope that doesn't pick up on the camera, by the way. To be brief.
SPEAKER_00It shouldn't.
SPEAKER_05Shouldn't. I mean, worst case scenario, we can always be like, you know.
SPEAKER_06Oh fuck, it does. It's like right in the camera.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I kinda, yeah.
unknownMy bad.
SPEAKER_05I'm edited that out. I'm edited that out. Blasphemous HD. Appreciate it. Yeah, no, that's kind of what I was like, are you really looking this up? Yeah. But never seen a flayed penis? You haven't. Oh, I have. That's why I didn't want to see it. I've already seen it. What like some 50-50s on Reddit or some shit? No, I'm just. Oh, I used to love that shit. No, I've seen people who like grabbed the penis and just went.
SPEAKER_06What?
SPEAKER_05So I had a process that. Like, like give it a fade. Like live link? No, I mean, I don't remember where. I just know I've seen it. Or someone's like. Like self-mutilation? I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I don't remember, dude. No, it's it's from when like catheters like erode over time and it like flays the Yeah, no, I haven't seen it like that.
SPEAKER_05I've seen it where they just like cut off the head. I've seen like stuff like that.
SPEAKER_06Oh, it's like literally flaying a penis. Yeah. No, no. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I've seen it like that before.
SPEAKER_06This should look like a hot dog. Yeah, no, I believe. Yeah, like basically it's your penis without the skin. We should cut this out. This is gross. Anyway.
SPEAKER_05I mean, we don't need to. The world can hear this, I guess. I don't know. It's like imagine like the sunflower seed, right? But like where are you going with it? Like you take the shell off of it. You know, it's like you need the shell. No, it's being part of it.
SPEAKER_02And just leaving the the leftover horse chicken dog meat.
SPEAKER_05Really, it's more it's really more comparable to like eating the peanut without the shell, I feel like. Honestly, like it's it's like you're you're supposed to have the shell there. You know, like you need to have the shell as part of the meal, or it doesn't count. It's kind of the same thing. If you don't have the skin of the penis there, then the meal isn't really worth it. The meal? Well, not my meal, but someone's meal. I don't know. I'd it's it's part of the analogy, you know. This has been an episode for sure. Anyways, how much would you need to get paid for someone to take a shit on your penis? I don't think I don't I don't think you heard that part where you're like Googling everything, but I listened that a second ago, yeah. I was like, yeah, how much how much money I don't would it take to let someone do that?
SPEAKER_02I don't think I I don't think that's enough. Like what kind of shit? I don't you don't know. That's what I'm saying. I couldn't do it. You don't know what you can roll the dice. I couldn't roll the dice on that.
SPEAKER_06It could be a little I'll roll the dice. Give me a million bucks. One million? Is all it'll take? Yeah, like sure. Like they just shit on it and I leave.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, are they doing it? You don't want to like clean it first? You just want to clean it up.
SPEAKER_06I mean, yeah, I'll clean it and then I'll leave. Like I'll leave to clean it.
SPEAKER_05You're not gonna clean it there?
SPEAKER_06You wanna like what? I'm like I'm assuming it's is it like in a fucking shower or something?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. So how the fuck am I gonna clean it? It's some kinky person taking a dump on my ding dong. I don't like Sure.
SPEAKER_06If they're doing it in the shower, even better. I don't have to leave and clean it.
SPEAKER_05Like I'll just kick them out of the shower. How much money would it take to let them do it twice?
SPEAKER_06Can I can I clean it after? Like, what do you mean do it twice? Like back to back? What do you Yeah? They're basically just shitting on it once, but it's just longer.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but there's like at least like 15 seconds in between. Like they do it once, and then you have to let it sit. You have to let it sit. You like you you're not allowed to move. You have to just sit there and take it. And then and then they like rub it in and then they do it again. You rub it in?
SPEAKER_08I can't.
SPEAKER_02I'm not doing any of that.
SPEAKER_06Do you know how much money a million bucks is, though?
SPEAKER_02I can't. I couldn't look at myself the same, Darren. I'm buying like a fucking house for my mom.
SPEAKER_05I wouldn't look at myself the same either. I've got a fucking billion dollars. I mean, you can't like he said a million. I'm adding a fucking couple zeros that way.
SPEAKER_06I mean, I'll do it for a billion too, but no, no, no, it's okay, Darren.
SPEAKER_05You already said you do it for a million. Selling yourself short there, Pat. You're gonna have a million dollars.
SPEAKER_06Shut the fuck up, dude. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05At least I'm walking away with a clean only said a million dollars. You're gonna have some like mysterious billionaire named Gelon Musk like hit you up in your fucking DMs now.
SPEAKER_02Hey, bro, I'm off of the ketamine right now. Could I take a shit in your dick?
SPEAKER_05I really need this, please. Hey Grog.
SPEAKER_03That's great. That's phenomenal. Sure. Those are words. So was your answer zero dollars? I'm doing it for free. I'm just not doing it.
SPEAKER_02Oh no, no, no. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_05But like a billion dollars, though. You wouldn't do that for a billion dollars. Billion dollars. A billion dollars.
SPEAKER_06Never mind. I was thinking a trillion dollars. I'll be the first billionaire overnight. Would you you know what you could do with a billion dollars? What about a trillion dollars? The word's first trillionaire. You know how much good you can do. You don't have to tell anybody how you got your wealth. I don't have to tell anybody. And it won't be investigated. Now we're because if you can just get a trillion dollars overnight, they're gonna fucking investigate you.
SPEAKER_05I don't even know if they would. Like I think it's such a large amount of money, they'd be like, I just I don't even want to know. To be honest. Just to take it. I think though you're gonna investigate it.
SPEAKER_02I know the IRS would really want it. Hey, Patrick. Tax-free trillion. They have to do it twice, though.
SPEAKER_05They have to spin the block. Well, it's like it's in the span of like a minute. It's twice in the span of like a minute. Oh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Sure.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's not like, you know, it's twice in the span of a minute. Rubing it in as vial, though. Yeah, they do it once, rub it in, and then they do it again. That's it. For a trillion.
SPEAKER_03Why are you questioning it, dude? It's a trillion dollars. Am I strong enough? Think about how many is required.
SPEAKER_05Think about how many schools you could build with that.
SPEAKER_02How much water and food I could do.
SPEAKER_05Think about how much infrastructure could be improved in the world.
SPEAKER_02Do I have the strength of the Lord?
SPEAKER_05We could be on Mars by now. I don't know about all that. We could literally be on Mars right now. Probably. You never know. He's trying to say yes. He's trying to say yes, but he can't bring himself to say it. So that's what I'm getting from this.
SPEAKER_02If I could if I could make the world a better place. Shut the fuck up. It's a trillion dollars. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05People always try to act like a big thing.
SPEAKER_06I will do it for a noble cause.
SPEAKER_05Talking about it. People always try to act like they're like so much better than the money and shit.
SPEAKER_03And shit. Yeah, no really.
SPEAKER_05And shit. No, I remember like there were times like at work and stuff, we'd be like fucking around. And I remember we'd be like, oh, how much like how much money would it take for you to kiss a dude? And it'd be like, I don't know, like fucking a thousand dollars, like just a kiss? Like, yeah. You'd be like, guys, do not joke about this. That is so fucked up and anti-Christian of you. Like, dude, what are you talking about? Like, we're talking about a thousand bucks here. Like, dude, it's fucking high school locker room talking. Like, what do you mean? It's like, no, that's fucking like demonic. What you're like, dude, what are you talking about? Yeah, whenever people start bringing up demons, like the fuck are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02Demonic shit. It's like, hey, let's sacrifice this child to ball. Nothing to see here. Hey, what if we kissed the dude for like fifty thousand dollars? Yeah. He's in the room.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it was like it was like, would you kiss a dude? Maybe. It's like, would you let a guy fuck you in the ass? Why are you talking like that? What's wrong with you? You're fucking twisted. I remember those exact words. You're fucking twisted. That shit was hilarious. I was laughing my ass off.
SPEAKER_02Be the same types of niggas that like we'll ignore the Epstein files, but when you when you make a fuck uh hypothetical, oh my god.
SPEAKER_05Well, it's funny too, is because like because he reacted that way, we would always ask him every single time too. What he thinks. Yeah, it would be like, dude, like you like you'd let someone fuck you in the ass, like $50,000. Like, you'd do it. You'd be like, no, I would not. I would not do that.
SPEAKER_02Nah, man, what the hell?
SPEAKER_05Basically.
SPEAKER_02You ever see that video of like, grandad, you're going to Philly? Philly? Oh hell!
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's a good yeah. I like seeing people's reactions to shit like that.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, nah. Nah, dude. Yeah, for a trillion, a big trillo.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, this is gonna have to happen. I remember one time I was uh it was cold outside and I was like pretty cold and I forgot my jacket at home. And I remember I was like talking to one of my supervisors or something at work on the phone, and like uh he was I I mentioned like casually that I didn't have a jacket or something. He was like, You don't have a jacket? It's like freezing outside. I was like, Man, it's okay. I was like, I'm built for this weather, it's okay. And he goes, You are not built for this weather. Were you built for the weather? Yeah, it was fine. It was like, I don't know, like 35, 40 degrees outside. I didn't have a jacket on. Like it was cold, but it wasn't like you know, I wasn't dying.
SPEAKER_00Is that his cast for you? You are not that guy, but you're it is to me now.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you are not built for that weather.
SPEAKER_02It's always good having co-workers like that. Just like the one straight man that just can't like see the joke and just has to be like, I'm not gay, I'm not satanic, this is weird. Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Okay, Alfonso. Yeah, a billion dollars. But every day you wake up, you have to spin a wheel, and on the wheel are just a list of medical ailments and syndromes and just like shit like that. Like from anything from a psychiatric to like a cancer diagnosis. And I get that, you get that for a day and it wears off in 24 hours, but every day. I don't die from these things. No, you just suffer with them. You have to spin it every morning, but you get a you you got a billion dollars out of this like contract.
SPEAKER_05So, like if I spin the wheel and I get like cancer, like it was cancer for a day, like stage one.
SPEAKER_06Am I just chilling? Okay, yeah, but you could also get like fucking psychosis for a day or like Down syndrome for a day.
SPEAKER_02I'll just like trains and grilled cheese. That's not that bad.
SPEAKER_01What are you just saying?
SPEAKER_00Trains and grilled cheese.
SPEAKER_07No, I'm laughing because like imagine we went to record the podcast one day and one of us just pulled up with down syndrome.
SPEAKER_02He is I I don't know how I would be, I don't know how I would act. I just I would not know what to do at that point. I'll just be like No, but like like do you do you do you accept this contract for a billion dollars? Dude, easily. Are you kidding me? I mean, if I can't dive from it and it's just for 24 hours, like do I but your decisions you make while having these still will have consequences.
SPEAKER_06So I wake up as a conductor.
SPEAKER_05Wait, so is it a billion dollars one time in the beginning?
SPEAKER_06Yes, so a billion dollars, but from there on, you have to spin this wheel every single time. So I don't keep getting a billion. No, but you have a billion.
SPEAKER_05Can I can I choose to spread out the billion? Like for every time you spin it? So the reason why I'm asking that is because like if I get the psychosis and I just fucking spend all the billion while I'm like not lucid, I don't want that to happen. You know what I mean? So can I not spread it out? Like I have to like do it all at once. You get a billion dollars, would you have to live in the wheel? I mean, like you asking if I can give you the billion in installments.
SPEAKER_06How long do you have to spend? Yeah, like can I can I just give like a thousand dollars every time I spin the wheel? It's a choice you could make. You could just give the billion to I don't know, but I don't fucking know if I'm gonna spend a lot of things. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'll tell you.
SPEAKER_02How long do you have to spin the wheel? So that you die? Die. Oh fuck no. I'm not doing that. I would do that. I would not do that for a billion, no. I feel like you would be 60, spin the wheel, get something really bad, and just die.
SPEAKER_06Probably. Just be 60.
SPEAKER_02That's what I'm saying. Like 24 hours.
SPEAKER_05That's enough to kill him. I haven't heard of that. Well, if I'm a billionaire, I'd like to have someone on standby for when that happens, though.
SPEAKER_02Not if you're in your psychosis manage fits of rage. You fire them and eat his face. I don't think you're gonna die of the span of a day from cancer.
SPEAKER_05What if you wake up in prison because your psychosis made you eat someone's face? In a day. I mean, I'd be like, I'd I'd have like a handler with me and they'd like go through.
SPEAKER_02You'd eat his face.
SPEAKER_05That's what I'm saying. Like, I'd have someone there who's like ready to like diagnose me every single day.
SPEAKER_02What if you get psychosis day one after you spin the wheel, though? Then like there's no time to like set that up.
SPEAKER_06Bro, you're fucking years old, spin the wheel, and get Ebola.
SPEAKER_02You're fucked. Yeah. You're fucked. That's what I'm saying. Like, there's too many variables. And then you spread it around. Yeah. Oh wow. I didn't even think about that. Oh wow. You could just get anything, right? Yeah. The black plague. No, the bubonic plague just fucking throwing that for 24 hours, and then they can't trace it back to you because then like it's out of your system. It's gone. I'll say you know what it is every morning.
SPEAKER_06Like, because it's the wheel you spin, you see it. So that's fair.
SPEAKER_02So I spin the wheel the day before and I know the day.
SPEAKER_06No, every morning when you wake up, you spin it, and then from there on after for 24 hours, you have your ailment. So does that mean you have to sleep that night with that same ailment? Yeah, sure. So if you get if you get this function.
SPEAKER_02You have a billion dollars, but you're never fucking.
SPEAKER_06Well, if you have a billion dollars that you're never healthy. It's wealth. It's not even wealth as health. That's making sense. Yeah. Wealth or health. Health.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm choosing health on that one. I'm choosing wealth. I'm choosing wealth, I'm not gonna lie. Nah, I can't. A billion dollars. I'm still thinking about a digapoda with down syndrome. Just like, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I split the wheel.
SPEAKER_06Herpes, AIDS, syphilis, okay, a trillion to you, right? If you push this button. You agree? Okay, so if you push the button, Down syndrome is now contagious, but you get a trillion dollars. Do I have Down syndrome? You could. It's contagious.
SPEAKER_05What type of contagious? There's lots of different types of contagious.
SPEAKER_06Like, I don't know, like fucking droplet. Like someone coughs and droplets everywhere. So it's the same as COVID or flu.
SPEAKER_05Okay. I was thinking it was like an airborne pathogen that's just like everyone's fucked.
SPEAKER_02So I make it contagious for everyone or just contagious for the city. I wouldn't make it airborne. That's kind of OP. That's what I'm saying. Like, yeah. Contagious for everyone or contagious for me? For everybody, which includes it.
SPEAKER_06No, you're not absolved. Like you could catch down syndrome.
SPEAKER_02So I'm saying, but other people can just start catching down syndrome. They can just catch strays, but I get a trillion dollars. Yes. Yeah, easily.
SPEAKER_05Oh my god. Everyone would be so happy. What? I feel like everyone would be as happy as fuck. Yeah, but I think society would fucking collapse if everybody got down syndrome. Society would be different. It wouldn't collapse. It'd be very different. It'd be built very different.
SPEAKER_06I don't think it would improve.
SPEAKER_05I mean, well, it would be a different type of people, you know, and at the top of the food chain, I guess.
SPEAKER_02Now you lost me. What would you do with those trillions with this new society if, you know, because it won't be the same.
SPEAKER_05Who's who's even gonna say that those trillions a lot of that money before society collapses? I feel like. Like I would I would get the fucking airplane, I'd get the fucking whole bunch of shit.
SPEAKER_02Honestly, honestly, if I take the trillion and move to a private island, I feel like I'd be okay. Not saying I'd do it, but I'm just saying that'll probably be the best way to I think we should stay away from private islands for a while.
SPEAKER_06I don't know. This guy just said health over wealth, and then you go back. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Well, my health will be fine. Everyone else would be quite fuck you. Oh my god. But I didn't say I'm pressing, but I'm just saying hypothetical.
SPEAKER_05Do you like catch it immediately? Like when I say that, like do you have to be around shit?
SPEAKER_06I don't know. I don't know the incubation period or something. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_05Like, can you can you catch it? Like, are there gonna be people who are like like carriers but don't show symptoms and stuff? You know what I mean? No, I feel like you have to get a focus. Is it gonna be very is it gonna be very obvious who you're gonna get it from?
SPEAKER_02Yes, I feel like it has to be like for this to work. Like it's the whole genetic thing. So like you have to be near like a patient's influence.
SPEAKER_05Would you be able to like get away fast enough? You know what I mean? Maybe. Oh, that's what you mean.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah, it's like a normal virus where it incubates like around 24 hours three days to a week.
SPEAKER_02Could I pay researchers to make people a mute?
SPEAKER_05A trillion dollars. You can do whatever you want to in a trillion dollars. There's no I don't know if there's any getting immune to that though. Yeah, it's a genetic fucking thing.
SPEAKER_06But if it spreads like that, it's not her.
SPEAKER_02If it spreads like a virus, there's not really a bit yeah, yeah. If it spreads like a virus, that means that wear a face mask, I guess.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Yeah, six feet, nigga.
SPEAKER_02Something. No, bro. I don't want to catch the downies, bro.
SPEAKER_03God, it's bad.
SPEAKER_02But no, I mean, like at that point, yeah, there's like ways to combat it. Like, yes, six feet, pay someone to work work on a cure. Because if it's a virus, that means there has to be. It's probably not a cure, man. There's not a cure right now either. No, I'm saying if it can be spread, there has to be at least something to deter it. Yeah, like we just said six feet mask washing your hands. Yeah. And then if I buy that private island, I'll be fine. But then I can still have a child that can have it. And then that's all the. Oh, dude, and then they pass it on to you. Oh, like you know how like when you play Plague Inc and no one can ever get fucking Greenland? Yes. Yeah, like it's one of those that you just like.
SPEAKER_05Like you're saying, like your kids just naturally warm a downstream.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he's like so unlucky. Yeah, exactly. My wife and I kid it. Yeah, because it'd be like plague ink. That's so unlucky. Yeah. That's just uh I even think it's also genetic, so it's like a virus and genetic. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But you have a no shade to people with Down syndrome. Not at all with Down syndrome.
SPEAKER_02These are all for hypotheticals.
SPEAKER_03How'd you come up with that?
SPEAKER_02Because I was thinking of plague ink. I was like, well, that shit can spawn. Like I get a point.
SPEAKER_03How did Darren even come on?
SPEAKER_06Oh hypothetical? No, because I've been watching these dudes on I I get the I've been watching them on YouTube. They do like these like crazy, awful hypotheticals that people said it put in. It's like, oh, would you rather like Down Center be contagious or like fight your mom every Wednesday and beat the shit out of her? Oh. Like, what do you do? Oh, I don't like that one.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I don't like that. Down Cinder being cra contagious is crazy.
SPEAKER_05Okay, would you rather for five seconds every day all liquids turn to piss? Right? Okay, I'll say that. Like, does my spit become piss? Oh my saliva in my mouth. Five seconds every day, all liquids become piss. Even my blood?
SPEAKER_02Ooh, I don't think survive would piss blood. Plasma. I don't think survive would piss.
SPEAKER_05I'll say it's not anything like inside you. Clear liquids, can you say clear? So not my saliva. Yeah, so I won't say your saliva. I'll say internal liquid.
SPEAKER_06Dude, imagine your nose mucus just becoming piss.
SPEAKER_05Let's say anything outside of your body can become the sweat count as inside or outside. Sweat counts as outside.
SPEAKER_06But it's only for five minutes a day. Five seconds. Five seconds. Do medications at work count? Because if I'm giving somebody IV saline and it just turns into the piss and I just give them piss.
SPEAKER_05That's awful.
SPEAKER_06That just fucks me over.
SPEAKER_05Well, so I was gonna say, so for five seconds every day, any liquid can turn into piss. What? Okay. Or for five seconds every day, any solid can turn into shit.
SPEAKER_02Okay, well, wait, hold on.
SPEAKER_05Like me? Expand the liquid thing out. Yeah, it has to be outside your body.
SPEAKER_02Have you seen that Skittles commercial? Am I the carrier that turns the things in the piss?
SPEAKER_06No, it's anything. Like in the world. Like one random object in the world will be.
SPEAKER_05I'll say that, yeah, for five seconds every day. It doesn't matter which five seconds, it's gonna be a different five seconds every day.
SPEAKER_02So like the ocean just turns in a piss for five seconds.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Exactly. Or all of the land turns to shit for five seconds.
SPEAKER_02Well, I'm not in I'm not in the ocean, so I might have to choose the piss water. I mean, it will suck for fish, but like I think all fish would die. I mean, not getting flashbang with five seconds of piss. They live in shit. They live in piss and shit water. I think they'd be fine. Yeah, but it's not like they live in like like fucking 2% piss water, and you're thinking 100% piss. How much salt is in your peak? A lot. No. A lot depends on the person. But I'm saying there's there's salt in the water that's full of piss and shit, so it shouldn't be too much of a fucking jump for us.
SPEAKER_06There's other shit in piss too that fish are not gonna like. Yeah, but for five seconds.
SPEAKER_02They're probably more resilient than like a mother walking her child, and then that child now falls into shit for five seconds face down, then it swaps back into dirt, and now has- It's a sterile piss.
SPEAKER_06It's just piss. Is it still still like from the source, like sterile piss? When you say from like sterile, like when pee comes out of you, it is sterile. Yeah, when it sits in the toilet for an hour, it is dirty.
SPEAKER_05It's like it just got pissed.
SPEAKER_06Then that's fine.
SPEAKER_05It just got pissed. That is not the worst thing.
SPEAKER_02Fresh piss. It's fresh piss. Yeah, no, because shit just seems like it'd be like a weird sinkhole like. Shit is always dirty. No, it's not fresh piss and fresh shit.
SPEAKER_06But I was saying it was fresh. Fresh shit is always dirty though, and can like fucking can get you sick and shit. Like, that's what I'm saying. The five seconds hypothetically, fresh piss is the better alternative.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, five seconds and a flash bring of piss, I'm fine with that. Do the piss. Sweat, it could be You said it's not from your body.
SPEAKER_06Sweat is external.
SPEAKER_05No, I said anything that's not internal.
SPEAKER_06So the oil on my skin can turn in the piss.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. The oil in your skin, your sweat. If you go to reach for a water in the wrong five seconds, it'll turn into piss when you put it in your mouth.
SPEAKER_06I mean, no, no, that's fair. But I mean like the oil, literal oil on my skin will just turn in the piss. Like the fucking moisturizer after that. Yeah, you become like sweaty but piss sweaty. I mean, I'll still take that over the shit.
SPEAKER_05I just think like if you're like walking or child and with the shit, it's like your clothes will just turn into shit for five seconds. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people would get sick. After five seconds, I mean it'll turn back into normal clothes.
SPEAKER_02Don't forget, like then the fish also would still die because now they're living in shit water for five seconds every day.
SPEAKER_05It's not a solid the sand, the yeah, everything around it. But it's just for five seconds. Like it turns back right after.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but it's still like contaminants and back. Yeah, it would contaminate them. I still think that piss is better.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Okay. I guess so.
SPEAKER_06Just because piss is sterile.
SPEAKER_02That's fair. The only reason why. Damn, dude. Uh oh, okay. This is gonna be a weird one. Would you rather only hear music or only see an HD? Like you're you're deaf, but unless you're listening to music. Bro, what? Only see an HD. Only see an HD.
SPEAKER_00Why would I see like bullshit?
SPEAKER_02Why would I want to see? I would only see in black. Only see in black and white. I totally fucking I totally fucked up the the I was I was thinking of the wrong. I was thinking like, what's the opposite of like black and white HD? Yeah. Oh, would you only wanna can you only hear songs and deaf to everything else or only seeing black and white? Only hear songs. Only hear songs? Okay.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. I'd much rather only hear songs. I think it's easier to be deaf than it is to be blind. And even then, I'd not blind.
SPEAKER_02And even then you can still blind black and white, so you have like no colored.
SPEAKER_06But if something is in song, I can hear it.
SPEAKER_02Only if it's in a song. But if you're looking in the world, you only like bumblebee some shit?
SPEAKER_05Like play like clips of songs to play white for me. That's what I'm saying. You said Bumblebee. I didn't hear you just say I heard mumble. I was like, mumble? I was like, that's what I'm saying. They like bumblebee shit by playing like music videos and stuff for me.
SPEAKER_06Technically, yeah. But as long as it's in song. I'd rather see in black and white because I'm still keeping the sense of sight. It's just very muted.
SPEAKER_07Well, you still keep the sense of sadness.
SPEAKER_06But only to music though, and it's not gonna be useful for like everyday life. Like, okay, oh cool, I can listen to my favorite song. I can do that too if I just see in black and white, you know?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but you don't get to see stuff that you want to see is just yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, tough shit. It's like a would you rather? I'd rather take that alternative than not hear anyone's voice again unless they're singing.
SPEAKER_02Seeing it in black and white might be kind of crazy because when you go outside at night, you're just seeing black, black.
SPEAKER_06Well, yeah, because black and white vision whistles suck, is like you said, you can't differentiate colors and shit at night. But also, like, I don't know. In my job, there's a shit ton of stuff that's color-coded. So I'm kind of getting shafted either way, but I feel like that makes sense. Still seeing and having your hearing is better than like having your full sight but no hearing like whatsoever.
SPEAKER_02Selective hearing would be more specific.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but there's no gonna be there's no songs playing at my work. Well, if people sing to you, you can still hear them. Yeah, who's gonna f what fun fucking doctor is gonna sing to me his order? Like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_00Hello, Derek! Can you give me eye for a MacDon?
SPEAKER_06I think I'm fire, but they probably would, I feel like. They'd probably like to want to accommodate you. They'd fire me and be like, no, give me the guy who doesn't need me to fucking sing to him to do his job.
SPEAKER_02Like sees them black and white, and then like the lights go out in the facility.
SPEAKER_06He just like they'd rather have somebody who can see in black and white than somebody who can't hear shit unless it's a song. I don't know. I feel you've probably convinced Poke the red vein.
SPEAKER_02Dude, they're all red. What are you talking about? Poke the blue one. No, veins are blue. Poke the blue vein.
SPEAKER_05Arteries are and you're just like well, I was just thinking of the blood, I guess. All blood's red.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, you're right. We're going. Yeah. I thought you were gonna say, I thought the blood in veins was blue.
SPEAKER_05Did you know that the blood in veins is blue? It just hasn't been oxygenated yet. That's the reason why it's not red yet. Oh thaw, dude. I don't know why that's like a myth. I don't know why it's like a thing.
SPEAKER_02Because a blue raspberry got everyone fucked up.
SPEAKER_05What the fuck are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01Wait, what did you say?
SPEAKER_02Because raspberries are red. But blue raspberries blue. So I feel like a lot bigger.
SPEAKER_06Blue raspberry is real? No.
SPEAKER_02No, it's just raspberry but dyed blue. That's what I'm saying. That's like that same mindset as like raspberry.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but I've only seen like blue ras as a flavor, but I've never seen a blue raspberry.
SPEAKER_02Why the fuck is that a flavor? Because it's food dye. And that's why people think blue veins have blue blood.
SPEAKER_05Because he's asking why is the flavor blue raspberry exist. It's just a marketing thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's just marketing. If they called it raspberry, don't fucking buy it. But if you say blue ras, niggas like, take my money. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, but I'm saying with blue blood.
SPEAKER_05Same like idea. That's just because now it's popular though. Like a one hundred Like, why in the beginning they started doing that instead of just calling it raspberry?
SPEAKER_06Because it wasn't because red is associated with strawberry and cherry. Wouldn't blue be associated with blueberry, though? Yeah, but people don't like blueberry. I like blueberries.
SPEAKER_02Not to be honest, I think most things aren't blueberry, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. But also, like, people say blueberries are bitter, but that's because like every single fucking blueberry in a grocery store is grown out of season. Because there's like a very specific season you're supposed to pull the blueberries in.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And it's like a really niche time of the year.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So you're always buying them out of season essentially.
SPEAKER_05The last time I had blueberries, I actually liked them a lot better than I was.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, they're very like hit or miss, but most of the time they I still like them.
SPEAKER_02It's just so you're not thinking they're cherry or strawberries. That makes sense. And that came out during like the six.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I think it's just thread. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I think my issue with blueberries is a lot of the time they feel kind of like too soft, I guess.
SPEAKER_02I like I like the crunchy one.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I prefer when they're like crunchier.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Crunchy, a little sour, a little sweet. My favorite. Some good ass blueberries. Okay, okay, okay. This would be a really good one. Would you rather live in an invincible universe or Marvel universe? Tie that back to you. Invincible. Really? Yes. You'd you want to be on a train and then just some random dad is teaching his son a lifelong lesson of dog, half of the world died in Infinity War.
SPEAKER_06But they all came back after five years and it wasn't even certain. And everybody who came back five years.
SPEAKER_05Would you like to just live in New York and have the Hulk a hero randomly just kill you and it'd be like he'd be celebrated after?
SPEAKER_02That's exactly why Powerplex was mad at Invincible.
SPEAKER_06Would you rather the civil rights movement be back? But it's for mutants. Oh. Is there anything like that in Invincible movies? I don't like muties. No, not really.
SPEAKER_02Mutis. Mutants are cool. I mean, you guys just have the flaxens, they're hella racist for some.
SPEAKER_06Well, I don't know. They're not human and like, yeah, I fucking hate them because they try and invade Earth and they kill people. Like, sure. I can get behind that. There's not as much stuff going on in Invincible.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of self-mites, flaxen.
SPEAKER_05It's just Viltramites. Flaxons. I mean, like, you know. The fucking Earth niggas? You get invaded and everyone's like.
SPEAKER_06Flaxons invade the same fucking spot. Just don't live there.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's what I was saying. You get invaded. Just don't live in Chicago and you're fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But uh, what about the the the Earth niggas? The the lava niggas, that flame bitch, there's Satan. Marvel has Satan. Mephisto.
SPEAKER_06And he actually does stuff. And Satan's like cool, like, not I don't know about a good guy, but he's not morally evil. He's a net neutral. He isn't net neutral as opposed to Marvel's Mephisto. He's just a fucking asshole.
SPEAKER_02So that Satan fight was so underwhelming, bro. It was. He said, gotta get my special crown. Powers up, still gets washed. Yeah. It's like I think that's what you lost in the first place.
SPEAKER_05But imagine in Marvel, you just have like the actual devil running around, just making deals with people.
SPEAKER_02I think I just have to see Green Goblin once. I'm like, nah, bro, I'm getting the fuck out before he slimes me out. That's why I would much rather be in Invincible for sure. Let's see. What are like so the oh fuck for God? The Marler twins are dead. They were pretty cool. There's anxious. Okay, the Invincible War was a thing. There was just fucking like nine Vulture Mice just running havoc on the planet, just running fades. Yeah. For like what three days? Must have been a really shitty three days, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I mean, would you rather live in Invincible or the Boys? Invincible.
SPEAKER_02I couldn't do the boys. I I I keep thinking about love sauce. I'm like, if I ever like see that man, I'm like, honestly, I think the boys is a lot easier to live in.
SPEAKER_06I don't think there's much shit going on. Just be obedient to the fucking autocracy dictatorship that has taken over in the latest season and your fucking. The corporatality doesn't deal with that in the invincible.
SPEAKER_02I'd rather have Cecil as a leader. I feel like I prefer Cecil.
SPEAKER_06Cecil even not even the president. He doesn't even do shit with policy. He just runs the CIA.
SPEAKER_02He's basically keeping the policy intact. Like if he doesn't do his job. Yeah, and he's a good guy. Over here is not.
SPEAKER_06So rather than invincible still. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05No, no, that only happened in the most recent season. I feel like up until this point, like everyone, like normal is kind of just like kept out of everything. Fair enough.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but then you're gonna get to the final season at some point. So yeah, I'm taking invincible. Even then, like you said, like the invincible war and shit. I think it's a lot more difficult to get through, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, because it's just nine of them and you can't stop them.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but it's like three days of hell as opposed to years.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but they're also being constantly invaded and shit. Like it's not anything that's like super. Yeah, it is constant invasions. It's fine.
SPEAKER_02I guess well, I guess are you taking like the entirety of Invincible and the entirety of uh unless it's invincible, you have like heroes to look up to. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Like there's hope in that in that world. Yeah, it's that's fair.
SPEAKER_02No, he he moves them off to Vilchovers.
SPEAKER_06No, um, what's what's his what do you okay? Spoilers for the comics. I probably wouldn't. Okay, do you want me to spoil it? No, okay, cool, sorry.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I know. I I'm trying to. I know what happens to Earth at the end, but yeah. I'm trying to avoid some spoilers and stuff, the best I can. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02But I will say it is not it's pretty it. I know about what happens when yeah, that guy comes back, but I see what you're saying. Yeah, I don't think it's bad because well, I mean he has all arguments that he made it better, so yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_05But I don't know, between those DC, like I said, I think DC is probably the easiest one to live in, honestly, for the most part. As long as you don't live in fucking Gotham. As long as you're not in Gotham or something.
SPEAKER_02Okay, but okay, DC Gotham or Invincible. Metropolis isn't even that bad. You said DC Gotham? If you live in the DC universe, you have to live in Gotham, or would you rather live in the Invisible Universe? Yeah, I'd live in fucking Invincible. What? Yeah, I'd still live in Invincible. A whole world to explore. Nice.
SPEAKER_03Why would I stuck just in Gotham? That sucks. Okay, what about Marvel or only DC Gotham?
SPEAKER_06Marvel? Yeah, Marvel. Other places I can go.
SPEAKER_05Why why am I stuck just in fucking Gotham no matter what? Because like you still have the risk of just a lot of people.
SPEAKER_06A better comparison would have been Gotham or New York MCU.
SPEAKER_02Okay, then yes, that.
SPEAKER_06I will still take New York MCU.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, there's not as much stuff going on in the New York MCU, honestly. There's there's some stuff.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, New York and the Comics. New York in the comics versus Gotham.
SPEAKER_02Chatari, a lot of shit's happening. Um that's a lot rougher. I don't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I still probably take New York.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Is there more hope? Because I mean, really, you just have one guy holding down. Exactly. There's more guys versus one guy. I think that's like the main point of contention.
SPEAKER_05You got Robin and stuff like that. There's two guys. There's a guy that's a couple Robin.
SPEAKER_02It's a guy and a little dude.
SPEAKER_05Got like Robin and Red Hood. It's a guy and a little dude and a fucking demented zombie. Yeah, a couple of guys and three niggas. I'd say probably like 13, give or take. 13? Good guys? Yeah, there's a lot in Gotham at this point. You know Clayface joined the Bat family at one point? Yeah. I don't know the fucking context of that. I just thought he did. Never heard of that. Yeah, no, he was like literally like hanging out with them in the Batcave and shit. Like he knew all their secret identities and shit.
SPEAKER_02Clayface and Sam, are they just similar, like just like misunderstood villains? Are they both like I don't know Sam is holding like he's misunderstood? Like at least in the Romy uh claimy ones.
SPEAKER_05No, yeah, he I mean Clay Sandman in the comics were in the Avengers. Um Clayface, I don't really know as much about him. I know he was an actor. I don't know about him. Yeah, I don't think he's really misunderstood as much as he's like supposed to be like tragic, I guess. Okay. But he wasn't like a great guy beforehand. Oh, okay. Like his whole thing was he was like a narcissist, and that's why I don't know, he wanted to do all that. I don't know. Okay, okay. I don't know. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_06Like, I feel like Gotham, it's pretty bad. It's pretty shit. He was a disfigured actor who was a narcissist ego before he was disfigured. Yeah. Then he had um then he started experimenting with experimental like skin treatments, and that's when he became playface. So yeah, it is like a tragic backstory, I guess. He was kind of an asshole.
SPEAKER_02Self-inflicted tragedy.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I'm assuming that's the version they're gonna do the movie off of, too.
SPEAKER_02Ooh, I forgot he's getting a movie.
SPEAKER_06I do like the James Gunn DCU. I'm sorry. There's not as much stuff. Yeah, I was gonna say there's not enough for me to make an opinion on the entire thing as a whole.
SPEAKER_02So far, we have Superman and Suicide Squad. We have Suicide Squad and we have Creature Commandos, and so far I've got Peacemaker Season 2 and Pre-Saint. But that all falls under like Suicide Squad.
SPEAKER_06It's like Suicide Squad and Superman so far.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's two main branches to working with.
SPEAKER_05So there's not really enough there for me to have like a solid.
SPEAKER_02Okay, but what's MCU stage four? What the Fantastic Ford, the Thunderbolts, and then the Spider-Man movie. What are you asking?
SPEAKER_06And all the slot before it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I mean, all the TV shows, the shitty TV shows, and then it's more of a universe. Yeah, I'm just saying, like, if we're talking from each stage, like this current stage right now, it's like, you know, I'm putting more stock in the DCU right now. They have some movies. I mean, I'm looking more forward to DC. Marvel's had a lot more hits lately, I feel like. Well, in TV shows they have, but in terms of movies, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm still looking more than a lot of people. Yeah, DC's only had one movie.
SPEAKER_02Oh, they had two. Am I missing Superman?
SPEAKER_05The Suicide Squad. Suicide Squad, that's what it was. Suicide Squad and Superman. That's still like retconed into there. I don't even know that even I wouldn't count that. Really? I'd say it's like the events of that movie happened, but like not the movie exactly how it is.
SPEAKER_02No, because the sun transfer is over, right? The the the dead son from the the the guy. That's his dad. I I I never really, I just can't remember how it's like that.
SPEAKER_06I'll count it because creature and commandos and peacemaker heavily rely on it. So yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05There's also like references to the other stuff there too. So I don't know. I don't know. I still wouldn't say it's like fully 100% canon.
SPEAKER_06Well, like yeah, but I'd still say I consider it a part of like if I was watching the DCU, I would watch it because it like I'm saying, it plays into Peacemaker.
SPEAKER_02They reference things from those movies.
SPEAKER_06And creature commandos, which are officially like in DCU.
SPEAKER_02The rat guy shows up twice.
SPEAKER_05So the the Weasel. Weasel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but like, I mean, still so far since it's like actually been out, it's only been one movie. There's really like most of the stuff Marvel's been doing lately has been really good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, with uh Wonder Man and what was the other thing they did? Daredevil's really good. Wonderman, Daredevil, X-Men 97, X-Men 97, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Um, I did like Thunderbolts. I know y'all didn't like Thunderbolts as much. Spider-Man coming out soon.
SPEAKER_02For me, honestly, it just wouldn't allow me.
SPEAKER_05Spider-Man's coming out soon. Doomsday's testing with the same levels as Infinity Ward did you mean testing? Like test screenings and stuff, like test audiences.
SPEAKER_02Oh, really? Damn, I wish I was in California. I get test screens for that shit, bro. I would love to see that.
SPEAKER_05They had a trailer that they showed at a convention, but they weren't allowed to record. There's been like no footage of it that leaked online yet. Gosh or gosh. Well, people already described like a lot of what happened and stuff in it. Okay. I'm sure it'll come out sometime soon. I'm surprised it hasn't.
SPEAKER_02Was anything cool you heard from it, or do you not know what it was about fully?
SPEAKER_05Um, I don't really know what it was about. The only thing I did hear people talking about was that they did say that Dr. Doom does have like an accent. He doesn't reveal his face or anything in the trailer. Has an accent, okay. Yeah.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05They're making fun of someone. They're like, um, like, oh, Robert Downey Jr.'s Dr. Doom has a British accent or something. And everyone's like, that doesn't make any fucking sense because he's like Eastern European or whatever the fuck. And they're like, they actually described what the accent really sounds like. That's like that's not a British accent at all. It's like fucking like Slavic. So it is Eastern European. Yeah, okay. Like he just doesn't know what a like he just thinks everything is not English, like American English sounds British. Yeah. I was like, okay. This is like a clip of um Robert Downey Jr. doing like what his voice is Dr. Doom would be, and he described it. What was that? It's another would you rather?
SPEAKER_06Oh, what is it? Would you rather fight a bear for two hours or fight your gay thoughts forever?
SPEAKER_02Is the bear hungry in those two hours?
SPEAKER_06I don't have gay thoughts. But you have them now. So like what does what does that mean? I don't know. Like you're just gonna be in the closet. But are they just thoughts? Like, can I fuck my wife? You will never be strong enough to come out of the closet. So I could still have sex with my wife. Not there's anything wrong with it. I'm not saying, but I'm saying, like, in this in this scenario, you would not be strong enough to come out of the closet.
SPEAKER_02What I want to know is can I be hard when I'm banging a girl and no? That's a good question. Like, so you're asking if you should just be like bi?
unknownSure.
SPEAKER_06Never come out as like bye.
SPEAKER_05I was gonna say this. How about this instead? Um you have to fight a bear for five hours. That's even worse. Five hours. Or you have to act on every intrusive thought for the rest of your life. You have to act on it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, I'd be locked up. Yeah, same.
SPEAKER_00Lock up.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Or dead.
SPEAKER_06So it's either dead or prison. You can win against a bear. What how big's the bear? I can survive five hours. I don't have to beat it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah. So is it like an open room of you know it's fucking caves? Like, how am I fighting the bear?
SPEAKER_05Not even in its habitat. You wake up in like an abandoned building. It's like I don't know. Oh, it's not playing FNAF.
SPEAKER_06Well, the real bear instead of an animatronic bear, yeah. So I just have to out. Honestly, give me the bear. I'm taking my chances with the bear. For five hours? Yeah, I'm fucking.
SPEAKER_05Let's say six hours. Let's make it six hours. Fuck you. It went from three. We said FNAF. We said FNAF. So it's like, yeah, but we get six hours. It's like FNAF. But with the real bear instead.
SPEAKER_02Is it an empty warehouse? Is there like shit to hide? Like, give me the.
SPEAKER_05I mean, there's there's hiding places, but let's say you're covered in meat. What the fuck? Dude, you're covered in meat.
SPEAKER_02Bears will open that fucking crate. You woke up?
SPEAKER_06It will run through the fucking wall. To get because it's hungry. Yes. Yeah. This is a bear that hasn't eaten in the week. Okay. Like he's like he's on the verge.
SPEAKER_05No, you can still get away from him. You just gotta outsmart him.
SPEAKER_06Can I take the meat off? Can I pee on the meat? I mean you can. If you can outsmart the bear. We're still gonna smell the shit.
SPEAKER_05But yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I know. It's gonna smell the shit, but it's not you're not gonna smell the meat.
SPEAKER_05Or both. But this is a hungry bear. Yeah, he's not. A bear that would eat shit. Yeah. As long as it's a hungry fucking bear. That's what I'm saying. It's a hungry bear. You have to act on your intrusive thoughts. Every time you've been driving past a school, every single time you're gonna start running over kids.
SPEAKER_02So many dead people. Yeah. Can you can you up into where like I have to act on the thoughts while I'd never get caught? What the fuck was that?
SPEAKER_06Would you rather go to prison for doing like the worst crime imaginable in your own mind? Or live scot-free knowing your lifelong partner did it and is free.
SPEAKER_05Lifelong partner like my girlfriend?
SPEAKER_06Yes. So my girlfriend did some super good. Did the worst fucking crime imaginable in your eyes, and you have to stay with them and just like act like it didn't happen.
SPEAKER_02Or go to jail knowing I did that shit. You didn't do it. I didn't do it. But you're accused of it. Well the fuck am I in jail? Falsely you're frank. You're falsely accused for doing the fucking thing. So would I rather spend time in jail and have niggas butt fuck me because I like did something awful, or bang a chick who did the worst war crime since Adolf Hitler. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, like, like something like Bring me the bitch!
SPEAKER_02Something reasonable that like a normal person could do, but like that's just in Island something reasonable a normal person can do.
SPEAKER_06No.
SPEAKER_02So she's not an Epstein.
SPEAKER_06No, it's not gonna be Epstein level, but it's gonna be like it's it's literally something the worst crime fucking imaginable that you in your current capacity could do. That's not really that bad. No. God, well, what if I just shoplip? No, that's not that's that's not the worst fucking thing that comes to your mind.
SPEAKER_00He's capable of capacity.
SPEAKER_06You're capable of like killing a fucking toddler and flaying them open and fucking their inside. It's like, okay, yeah, sure, go with that. Why do you think that's Epstein level? Because I said it's the worst imaginable thing you can do.
SPEAKER_02That's Epstein level, though.
SPEAKER_06That's Epstein level. I mean, like the whole fucking island operation when you said, I'm talking about the level of depravity. Yes, sure. Sure then.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I'm suck that up. I ain't getting fucked in prison for I didn't happen. I ain't going out. Not for something I didn't do. If I did it, sure. That feels like the obvious answer to me, too, honestly. I'm not gonna go to prison. I'm not gonna get fucked for that. I need somebody I'm banging this killer that's not gonna kill me. Yeah, she could do the crime to me too.
SPEAKER_06No, she's banging you. I mean, you would live with that uncertainty.
SPEAKER_02I'll just make sure I give her something for her birthday.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06Just be like a pet for the rest of your life.
SPEAKER_03Yes, mommy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Because she only got away with it once, right? So if I were to leave a divorce.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, is she still actively doing this, or is this like a one-time thing?
SPEAKER_06You live with the uncertainty.
SPEAKER_05It still doesn't change my answer. I just wanted to know.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_05I was just curious. I'll bang the psychopath. I don't know.
SPEAKER_06I feel like if somebody does that, you can never trust anything they do after that. Or like, I don't know. Yeah, what are they not telling me? You know?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, so yeah, eating a baby. Would I rather not trust the person I live with or go to prison for the rest of my life? I'd probably do the person I live with, honestly.
SPEAKER_06I don't think prison's worth that, honestly. I mean, you're probably right, but they're still not good options. I feel like you're like dramatically oversimplifying the latter.
SPEAKER_02Well, she's in a relationship with me. She cares about me a little bit, or at least she's using me as cover. So either way, I need to stay safe and not dead, or else they're gonna start looking to her even more. Because when someone dies, they always check the spouse first. So she did, you know, eat a baby and fuck it or whatever the fuck.
SPEAKER_05I think you're also vastly undersimplifying like how prison and shit is.
SPEAKER_06No, I probably think like I don't know. I'm saying they're both terrible alternatives, is what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06Like, like I feel like you're not free in both situations.
SPEAKER_02Like, yeah, if Etsy was to be dropped in a prison right now in general population, that nigga is not making it to the next day. So if she did something awful, awful within human capacity of like a normal person, then no, I'm not fucking going to prison as a man? Fuck that. No. As a man. Oh, they're gonna eat my ass alive.
SPEAKER_05Oh yeah, they will. Exactly. Especially if you do some of my really fucked up stuff. Exactly. But I just end up dead pretty quick, honestly. Pretty quick. Like honestly, yeah, depending on like how depraved it was, you'd probably just end up killed.
SPEAKER_02And knowing that my wife did that shit is not even like me? Or girlfriend or whatever? No, fuck that. I'll just sleep on the couch or something. Fuck. I was gonna say you'd just be in like a loveless relationship too at that point.
SPEAKER_06Honestly, I mean that's what it would be, but you'd also like to figure your fucking life every day and just like I'll make sure she's happy.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, she's probably gonna like do whatever and kill you or whatever. Yeah. Makes sense. Happy wife, happy life.
SPEAKER_06Just gonna be stressed the rest of your life. I don't know. I think it'd be more stress in prison. I mean, you die at some point, which you're I mean, which I think would honestly some people be a better alternative.
SPEAKER_05I mean, kill yourself if you get too sick of it on the outside. Yeah. At least you die a free man. If you try that in prison, you end up in suicide watch. It's even worse. That is true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I just don't want my holes rearranged. What if that's what she does to you?
SPEAKER_05She's capable of it. Yeah, what if that was the crime she committed? But not to rearranging random men's holes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05She could do it if you like get on her bad side. I just want to get on her bad side. So you like always do everything she wants you to do? Within reason.
SPEAKER_02You know, I gotta make sure.
SPEAKER_05Well, what if she wants you to do stuff that's outside of your reason?
SPEAKER_02Well, does she know that I know?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. She knows that you know. She's probably told you, but then you're also like, damn, what aren't you telling me? She told you as a threat.
SPEAKER_02She threatened me with the same fate of the other person.
SPEAKER_03That's why I decapitated 15 babies. Like, what? Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02In a drunken fit of rage. She's like, Yeah, that's what and I then I ate him. And then she starts beating you, yeah. You come to work every day and you have like a black eye.
SPEAKER_05Like, are you okay? Yeah, I walked into a door. I walked into a door, yeah. That's what your life would turn into.
SPEAKER_06Uh okay, but if you do the prison thing, you get a documentary made about you. Bro.
SPEAKER_02Oh, but how'd you do it? I don't fucking know.
SPEAKER_05I was watching this uh this thing the other day. It was called Bigfoot. Did it? Did you see that? No. What the fuck? So what? Exactly.
SPEAKER_06Walk in the woods?
SPEAKER_05Nah, so it was this murder case that had Bigfoot as a suspect. Oh my god. It was like a true crime documentary about how it was them investigating whether or not Bigfoot did this murder on a child. Oh, that's pretty serious. Yeah, it was like really weird. I I was like watching this. I was like, why did they make this? This feels because like very quickly they were just like, no, her uncle was a pedophile and raped her. And like, I was like, what? Why would you make this? Why are you why are you making this a Bigfoot thing? You're making it sound like it's some whimsical ass shit. But you're like, oh no. Yeah, her fucking uncle snaps or whatever the fuck did this. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, yeah, her uncle sold meth to like children and like had her trafficking drugs for him. Like, what the No, it wasn't Bigfoot. It was not Bigfoot. No, it was not Bigfoot.
SPEAKER_00Did Bigfoot do this stuff? What?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no. There's some weird shit out there. That's what Disney Plus, by the way. That's fucking hilarious. Wait, what?
SPEAKER_06That was on Disney Plus. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, they have like a whole narco trafficking documentary on um Disney Plus too.
SPEAKER_05I was surprised. There's like a couple of things on there. I had like no idea they had. There's like a there's definitely a lot of like Warner Brothers stuff on there too.
SPEAKER_06Really?
SPEAKER_05I was scrolling through they had fucking Rick and Morty on there now. Disney Plus? Yeah. Like shocks me. I was like, what?
SPEAKER_06What the fuck even is HBO anymore? What are you doing? Well, they're getting bought by Paramount, right? No, I thought that was Or Netflix.
SPEAKER_05I I thought they struck I thought they they struck a deal with Netflix and then they canceled, they canceled it because they raised the price to what Paramount was.
SPEAKER_06No, but Paramount's trying to acquire them, but I think courts are striking it down. For monopoly laws.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I don't even think it's like a monopoly thing. It would be because that's only like what it is, because like courts are literally blocking their merger because it's like violation.
SPEAKER_02If they get that, there'd be like three major ones left. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I feel like it's more of like a they can't afford it thing because they have to go into death.
SPEAKER_02No, they're being no, no, I'm saying like literally courts that block the paramount are being blocked by courts. Like that's a real thing that's happening.
SPEAKER_05I just wasn't sure if it was like the monopoly thing or if it was because they literally didn't have the money for it. No, no. Because I thought it was like they were trying to pull out too much money. I see what you mean. Okay, okay. I thought it was because they were literally trying to take a loan out of like more money than their company is even worth it.
SPEAKER_02Well, like how OpenAI does their shit was like they have the promise of billions, but they don't physically have it. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. No, no, that's what you're saying.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. I th I do think Paramount has enough in assets to where they could get it, though. I want to say they do.
SPEAKER_05I don't know, like the the levels of like what Paramount is worth versus what Netflix or yeah, it's antitrust. Completely okay. That makes sense. Yeah. It's like completely different.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because then because if Paramount takes it over, then there are what three left? Three or four? Amazon, if you want to count Amazon Tech, I don't really count Amazon. Amazon counts. Okay, so really it's Amazon, Disney, Paramount, and Netflix. Netflix. That's it. I don't count Hulu, Hulu's ass. Hulu's part of Disney now. Exactly. So there's there's four. You have four streaming services. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_02YouTube?
SPEAKER_05YouTube technically counts, I guess. That's like live TV and shit. Yeah. YouTube's a very like, but it's not even.
SPEAKER_06YouTube has a ton of free movies too. You guys ever go through like their free movie catalogs?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I I I watched a bit of No Country for Old Men. I really want to like Oh, is that on YouTube? Yeah, Old Country, No Country for Old Men. I think he's right, actually. I think I have it in my watch later playlist. That's funny. Yeah. I watched a bit of it. I didn't finish it though. But uh, dude, I really can't wait for I really want the other Cormac McCarthy thing to be made. The Blood Meridian. Blood Meridian, dude. I want that. I don't want it for the j. Did you read it? I've I've watched Wintergoon go through the entire book for five hours. So I I enjoyed it. It was very nice. Like read-along, I guess you could call it. I don't know. I just I like how for me it's like I'm gonna read a book is cool, but like having someone like go a little further and just kind of give like context to things that I wouldn't really understand or pick up the first time was really nice. It was for five hours, too. It was really nice, it was really enjoyable. I want to read it. I know I needed to be like in a mood. It's on my Amazon. He also did The Road recently, too.
SPEAKER_06I really fucked with that. Yeah, yeah. I like I can I can actually I actually have a thing on my wish list where it's like all three books packaged into a collection.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Corbin McCarthy is a really good writer. I'm just gonna throw that out there. That motherfucker.
SPEAKER_05I've never seen No Country for Old Men. I know it's a popular movie and stuff. I've always wanted to read the book first.
SPEAKER_02He like he gets like he gets like to the real like true like meat and bones of human nature, which is like to say that like our capacity for good and evil is like a fucking coin flip. It's it's really like because think about think about like just like when you've had a really bad day, like just going off that truth of thought thing, like that is that is like the true essence of human nature. Some people just work on those thoughts, and there's like no real like reasoning, like the yeah, psychopaths, yeah, and that's like they are still human, like that, like some people think it's like a bug, but you could also argue that's a feature.
SPEAKER_06No, I wouldn't, I would argue it's a glitch, it's a mental disorder, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But like, don't forget, psychopaths and those types of people usually find themselves in positions of power, and if you go throughout the entire role because they're easier to manipulate people than other people, if you go through entire environments, because they don't have a conscious if you but if you look at human history, that's users who rise to power and charge, and that's what's been making and shaping nature. So you could say it's a glitch or it's a feature. It's like we got here with psychopaths, and now we're like we gotta weed out the psychopaths. Name one successful leader is a psychopath.
SPEAKER_06Uh Caesar. I don't think he was a psychopath. I think Caesar was a psychopath. I don't think he was a psychopath. Who was the one before? Was it Augustus? No, Augustus was after him. I don't think he was a psychopath either. I think he was. Because Caesar had the people's um interests at heart, even though he was a tyrant. The people said, I mean, the people of Rome loved Caesar. It was the senators who stabbed him in the back, not the people.
SPEAKER_05I mean, there's definitely been like rulers and stuff who've been overthrown by their people and shit like that.
SPEAKER_06Like, yeah, I would say I would say Emperor Nero is a psychopath, but I wouldn't call him a successful leader. Oh no, he died like fucking what three years in office or some shit like that. I don't know. He the fucking city burned and he didn't do anything about it, and people fucking hated him.
SPEAKER_02He was to play the loot and like do like plays and shit. Yeah, like fucking weird. But psychopath, psychopath. There's still functioning psychopaths. I'm saying like CEOs are usually have traits of psychopaths. I'm saying like you would be a functioning psychopath, but still be a psychopath. Like you could argue Alexander the Great, who just walked around killing people, was a psychopath, loved killing people.
SPEAKER_06Alexander the Great was um a general. He was on a psychopath.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure he cares.
SPEAKER_06But that's cares about his people, though.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's different. I mean, he didn't care enough to give you a few.
SPEAKER_06You could argue every single war general is now a psychopath because they're doing their job. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I mean, to a degree you can argue, like just having a lack of like I mean, I I see what you're saying, but I'm just saying there's a pretty decent chance.
SPEAKER_05I would not say being a psychopath is what's like if everyone was a psychopath, humans would not have lasted at all. Not if everyone was. That's why I'm saying it's a bug, it's not a feature.
SPEAKER_02I feel like it has to be a feature to some capacity, though. It's not a big thing. Like ADHD is seen as a bug, but it also was a feature back then because it was more helpful to be like bugs because society made it a bug. So I'm saying society made being a psychopath more of a bug.
SPEAKER_06No, you don't fit into society as a psychopath. It is a bug. Like it is like there's no genetic reason for why you would need to be a psychopath. With ADHD, it makes sense because if you have ADHD and you're like a fucking hunter and gatherer, like, yeah, you're gonna be like more in a way aware of your surroundings because you're gonna hyperfocus or like what do you call it? Not focused on certain things. You can you can handle more on your plate. I'm gonna say that. Yeah. With a psychopath, it's like there's literally no fucking reason to have that because like humans, you know, we're pack animals. We we survive in groups. There's no reason why you would need the genetic variance for psychopaths. Maybe. Maybe. I mean And it's like I'm saying, it's literally a mental disorder. Like not a common part of the population are psychopaths. Like, I mean, sure, like, yeah, you could say the number is bigger than what we anticipate, but like or what we have right now.
SPEAKER_02Like, set yourself in position of power as well. That's my whole point of view. Name one though. Like today.
SPEAKER_06Like most CEOs have that trait. Name one. I feel like that's something people say, but I like people can't point at a CEO they call a psychopath and give me like valid reasons.
SPEAKER_05It's also hard to diagnose something like that without being like no room with them.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Yeah. Which is fair. It's fair.
SPEAKER_05I I can see how it would benefit people who are like more ambitious or more singular secular.
SPEAKER_02More secular, beautiful.
SPEAKER_05Well, because like there, there's ways to be short-sighted with that stuff. Like, I think generally, like on a biological scale, when it comes to traits and shit, it's you're supposed to have things that make the species better off. If your trait only makes you individually better off, then it's not a trait you're supposed to have. Does that make sense? Yes.
SPEAKER_02Like if it's not a trait that benefits the whole species, it's not like a real becomes like a survival of the fittest thing was like, well, if you keep reproducing, then that kind of almost But if everyone had the same trait, then humanity wouldn't be around.
SPEAKER_06Survival of the fittest also isn't supposed to be.
SPEAKER_02It's just how much you can fuck and reproduce. That's really what it means. Fittest means just how much you can keep having kids. That's probably what it boils down to. Like how much you can keep making more of you. That's the fitness of it. Like you could argue ants are the most fittest creature on the planet because they could just keep going at like a rate that most people can't keep up with.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, but now you're comparing two different groups of the stuff. I'm just saying that's what survival of the fittest means, yeah. Yeah, so you're not talking about like survival of the fittest isn't really supposed to mean like, oh, this guy's a fucking psychopath and he can kill you and not care. So he's gonna like reproduce more or whatever the fuck, because it's I don't know, but like that that's not survival of the fittest. Survival of the fittest is like these two groups of humans out competing each other because they can collaborate better or they have certain traits that are more desirable.
SPEAKER_05Because it's like long term the ones who collaborate better and stuff are gonna be better off because they have like better technology and stuff, they'll advance faster than just popping out more kids. I don't know. I guess that's kind of like the way I think about it.
SPEAKER_06There's generally two survival of the fittest, it's like this animal outcompeted this one. Like not like individual motherfucker, like the group, you know.
SPEAKER_05I can see either one working though, because it's like survival of the fittest also applies to like evolution, I guess. Because it's like this individual fox is better than this individual fox. That's why this one wanted to mate with it and all that shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, and if they're really good at conquering and conquest and shit like that. Like you said, Genghis I was a psychopath, just say, Yeah, fuck it. This is all mine now.
SPEAKER_06He could have also just been a man of his time, like that was just like the normal thing, like the barbarians did back then.
SPEAKER_05I also just wouldn't say he's necessarily better at being human just because he was the way he was, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. So he's peak human. I'm just saying it's more of just like that was a type of human that needed to exist at that time for that reason. That's that's more of what I'm trying to say. It's like I when I say like like not like a bug, I'm just saying like it needed to happen at that time for that reason, if that makes sense. Did it? Yeah, I mean he helped uh bring more trade. I mean, I mean there was good things to the hunt. It was more like the more, what's the word? More commercial, not commercialized. What did the fucking Silk Road do? He did that again through the their conquest.
SPEAKER_05I'm not saying it was like purely negative. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_02Like it was just a crazy dude who was like, Well, you took my girlfriend at 14, now I kill everyone and have a million wives.
SPEAKER_05That's like I I think there's definitely ways that like the average person could have had a better life without him being there. You know what I mean? Like, I think if you live in high, you were fine. That's what I was like, I feel like he definitely benefited himself more than he benefited citizens. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06I mean, he made the entire world colder. Uh that's actually not related to the Genghis Khan killing people. It's because at the same time there was like a gigantic uh volcanic eruption that blocked out the sun in certain parts of the world. It was a funny coincidence, though. You are right. Around the time he did all those fucking massacres and that you know, quote unquote genocide, the world temperatures did drop like a degree or two, but it was because of that volcano. That's crazy. It's just funny timing.
SPEAKER_05Maybe his like energy caused the volcano.
SPEAKER_02On his Viltramite shit, bro. On his Viltramite shit. Yeah. Honestly, I think Genghisama would be like the real true Viltramite. No.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_03No. I don't think so. No, who? Okay, in human history. He did have the funny mustache.
SPEAKER_02In human history, who do you think would be closest to like being like that that real Viltramite? That that thrag assist. The other guy with the funny mustache, probably. Really? Hitler over. Actually, I was thinking Stalin, actually. Stalin died like a bitch. He shit himself to death. He had a stroke and everyone was scared of him.
SPEAKER_05I mean, yeah, that makes sense, but also like his mentality was very much the same as a Viltramite is. No, he wasn't a conqueror. He wasn't. He was more of like a defender. Well, I meant like the the strength aspect to it.
SPEAKER_06Like, I can see the other funny must have been. I can see I can see Hitler being more comparable to a Viltramite because he did have a very like conquesting, yeah, let's fucking perk call the weak um in undesirable mentality. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05I just I think it's very silly that they both just happen to have the Viltramite mustache, too.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh Stalin. Hitler, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, Hitler shaved his shit off. Is there a Viltramite with a Hitler stash? No. Probably not. No, they they grow that. Because you look like a pussy if you have like a half-shaved stash. You got the full thing. Well, do they kill you if you cut off your mustache? They would just make fun of you. It's like a class thing. It's like they all have mustaches. It's not a power or something shit. No, it's like a status thing. Like when he said, Thais, where's your mustache? He was like, Well, took it off because everyone knows us for having mustaches. It's like a new episode. Huh? It's on the new episode. No, this was season three. When he first meets them, he's like shave? Thetis rips off his mustache.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. Yeah, so I'm saying, like, they all just have mustaches. They can still shave it and stuff, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02But like, okay, but that's just their thing. No, in Mortal Kombat, there is like a because it's Except for the women for some reason. Mortal Kombat, JK Simmons voices uh Omni Man. He makes a whole like thing about your mustache is unkempt when he's like fighting a clone of himself. So it is like a status thing, like keeping your mustache. Like that's supposed to be like, you know, your white suit, your nice mustache. That's like a thing. It's like a status elevation thing. Because when you see Thrag's haircut, I think clean as hell, well, fresh as hell.
SPEAKER_03It's like keeping yourself. Yeah, but look at Conquest.
SPEAKER_02He's so lonely. That's have you did you see Conquest Room in the comics?
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it was like a little cube.
SPEAKER_02Single male limbs thing.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, I saw people edit that with like a PS5 and like a fucking like car on the floor. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That was so sad. I can't believe he's top two. Conquest? He's top two. But that just shows you how much of a canyon is between him and Thrag. I was gonna say, I mean, he's the second strongest. He beats Omni Man. Like the writer said, yeah, he beats Omni Man. That's crazy. And his feats of strength, he beats Omni Man. He's the second strongest Virtual Might in existence. Got choked out by kind of sucks. But that just goes to show you like those levels to this. I've always heard that Omniman's stronger. I was gonna say that can't be true because Omni Man still beats Mark at this point. Bro, he's what he's saying is that Omni-Man could beat Conquest and like skill. Like, like what's the difference between like fighting Hulk and like thanos?
SPEAKER_05You're saying like raw strength versus strength. Like strength-wise, it's like battle IQ versus strength.
SPEAKER_02Battle IQ versus strength. It's basically Nolan, Conquest, Thrag in terms of just pure raw strength. But like knowing how to use it, that's where the toss up between um Omni Man and Conquest goes. You see how he lost, like because a berserker berserkers just have raw, just I'm going to kill you energy. Yeah, that's the thing. Omni's a better warrior. Yeah. Yeah. But like in terms of like an arm wrestling, no, conquest has that shit. That makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Because I I like I said I said I feel like Omni Man still beats Mark at this point, too. So I mean. He should. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, if Mark can beat Conquest, then I mean it kind of just goes without reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's like fighting a wild bear versus like a fucking actual like killer. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, the bear is more powerful, but like a human with a knife can do some damage.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, no, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. Anything else, fellas? I don't think so.
SPEAKER_05It's a long episode. Yeah. I appreciate y'all for watching and listening to us talking about penis and conquest. And penis.
SPEAKER_02And hypothetical stuff.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. But yeah, we'll see y'all next time. We appreciate it and we see y'all later. Bye.
